10 Ways to Get Over and Survive A Break-up
Tips on How to Get Over Your Ex
These measures may sound tough to implement but they will help you get over your break-up so give them a try.
1. Cut off all contact with your ex until you are sure that you are over them. Start by getting rid of all their contact information like email addresses, phone numbers, Facebook and Twitter profiles. Ask a friend or family member to support you in not contacting your ex. Whenever you are tempted to call your ex, call your support buddy instead. Also change your contact information if necessary and do not provide your new contacts to your ex.
2. Get rid of reminders of your ex such as gifts, photographs and mementos. Donate them to charity, or throw them away. If you can't bring yourself to do that then put everything in a trunk and ask a friend or family member to store it for you until you are completely over your ex.
3. Stop re-telling your sad love story. Stop constantly thinking and talking about your ex and your former relationship. I know this is easier said than done but after the initial phase when you have told your friends your sob story make a commitment and effort to stop talking about it. When you go out on dates with new suitors, under no circumstance should you regale them with stories about your ex. Get your friends and family to interrupt you and change the topic whenever you start talking about your ex. Also request family members and friends to stop talking about him/her. Whenever you find yourself brooding and thinking about your ex find something else to do.
4. Do not frequent your old hangouts. Stop going to places where you and your ex used to hang out. Do not stalk your ex, do not drive by their house, gym or places where they like to go. Find new places to socialize and hard as it may be avoid running into your ex which is best done by avoiding their hang-out spots. Move towns if you have to.
5. Make a list of all the bad qualities that your ex has and the undesirable relationship qualities that they have. Pull out your "Bad List" and read over it every time that you start thinking positive thoughts of your ex or what a great relationship you had and how perfect he/she was for you. If you do this enough times, you will soon see how wrong they were for you and you will be thanking your lucky stars that he/she is gone ;-)
6. Break-ups damage your self-esteem and make you feel rotten about yourself so start taking measures to get your self-confidence back. First and foremost, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF for the break-up. There is nothing wrong with you. Some relationships are meant forever and others aren't so let it be. Accept the break-up without blaming yourself or your ex.
7. You can use positive affirmations to regain your self-confidence after a break-up. Say things like, "I am a beautiful person and deserving of love." Or any other positive affirmation that comes to mind. Write a list of all of your good qualities, carry it around with you and look at it whenever you feel down. If you are having trouble developing a list of your good qualities ask your friends and family what qualities they admire in you.
8. Take Care of Yourself. I cannot stress this enough. Often when a loved one leaves us the first thing we do is stop taking care of ourselves. After all "Nothing really matters anymore,"we say forlornly. However, letting ourselves go will just make us feel worse about ourselves. So stop and take a moment out to pamper and take care of yourself. Give yourself a treat, go to the spa, go on holiday, go out to dinner with some friends, do things that you enjoy. However, do it all within your budget and don't over compensate by spending money you do not have. The idea is to spoil yourself and this does not have to cost you a lot of money. It simply entails setting time aside to do something that you love or something good for yourself. Exercise and eat right and don't let yourself go just because your ex has gone :-).
9. You know the old saying: "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." So stay busy with positive activities. Find new hobbies or re-kindle old ones.
10. I saved this step for last for a very important reason, it should only be taken after you have healed. This final step entails finding a new love. Most of us seek love in the midst of healing or as part of healing, this is not a good idea and it rarely ever works. So heal first and find love last. Start by opening your heart and mind to the possibility of finding love again. Write a list of all the qualities that you seek in your perfect mate. Write down what your perfect relationship would be/ what it would look like. Then visualize and create an image of you in your ideal relationship with your ideal mate. In some cases it helps to actually get a photograph of a person who looks like your perfect mate and use this for your visualization exercises. Aside from visualizing you must also keep your heart and mind open to love.
1. Cut off all contact with your ex until you are sure that you are over them. Start by getting rid of all their contact information like email addresses, phone numbers, Facebook and Twitter profiles. Ask a friend or family member to support you in not contacting your ex. Whenever you are tempted to call your ex, call your support buddy instead. Also change your contact information if necessary and do not provide your new contacts to your ex.
2. Get rid of reminders of your ex such as gifts, photographs and mementos. Donate them to charity, or throw them away. If you can't bring yourself to do that then put everything in a trunk and ask a friend or family member to store it for you until you are completely over your ex.
3. Stop re-telling your sad love story. Stop constantly thinking and talking about your ex and your former relationship. I know this is easier said than done but after the initial phase when you have told your friends your sob story make a commitment and effort to stop talking about it. When you go out on dates with new suitors, under no circumstance should you regale them with stories about your ex. Get your friends and family to interrupt you and change the topic whenever you start talking about your ex. Also request family members and friends to stop talking about him/her. Whenever you find yourself brooding and thinking about your ex find something else to do.
4. Do not frequent your old hangouts. Stop going to places where you and your ex used to hang out. Do not stalk your ex, do not drive by their house, gym or places where they like to go. Find new places to socialize and hard as it may be avoid running into your ex which is best done by avoiding their hang-out spots. Move towns if you have to.
5. Make a list of all the bad qualities that your ex has and the undesirable relationship qualities that they have. Pull out your "Bad List" and read over it every time that you start thinking positive thoughts of your ex or what a great relationship you had and how perfect he/she was for you. If you do this enough times, you will soon see how wrong they were for you and you will be thanking your lucky stars that he/she is gone ;-)
6. Break-ups damage your self-esteem and make you feel rotten about yourself so start taking measures to get your self-confidence back. First and foremost, STOP BLAMING YOURSELF for the break-up. There is nothing wrong with you. Some relationships are meant forever and others aren't so let it be. Accept the break-up without blaming yourself or your ex.
7. You can use positive affirmations to regain your self-confidence after a break-up. Say things like, "I am a beautiful person and deserving of love." Or any other positive affirmation that comes to mind. Write a list of all of your good qualities, carry it around with you and look at it whenever you feel down. If you are having trouble developing a list of your good qualities ask your friends and family what qualities they admire in you.
8. Take Care of Yourself. I cannot stress this enough. Often when a loved one leaves us the first thing we do is stop taking care of ourselves. After all "Nothing really matters anymore,"we say forlornly. However, letting ourselves go will just make us feel worse about ourselves. So stop and take a moment out to pamper and take care of yourself. Give yourself a treat, go to the spa, go on holiday, go out to dinner with some friends, do things that you enjoy. However, do it all within your budget and don't over compensate by spending money you do not have. The idea is to spoil yourself and this does not have to cost you a lot of money. It simply entails setting time aside to do something that you love or something good for yourself. Exercise and eat right and don't let yourself go just because your ex has gone :-).
9. You know the old saying: "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." So stay busy with positive activities. Find new hobbies or re-kindle old ones.
10. I saved this step for last for a very important reason, it should only be taken after you have healed. This final step entails finding a new love. Most of us seek love in the midst of healing or as part of healing, this is not a good idea and it rarely ever works. So heal first and find love last. Start by opening your heart and mind to the possibility of finding love again. Write a list of all the qualities that you seek in your perfect mate. Write down what your perfect relationship would be/ what it would look like. Then visualize and create an image of you in your ideal relationship with your ideal mate. In some cases it helps to actually get a photograph of a person who looks like your perfect mate and use this for your visualization exercises. Aside from visualizing you must also keep your heart and mind open to love.
