Building Trust in a relationship

Even though most newlyweds live together, they still need to work on building trust in their marriage. Trust, after all, is the glue that holds couples together – even when they face great challenges. Without trust, couples might be more likely to split in times of crises, fail at getting intimate, and have doubts about each other. Couples who trust each other have security and probably feel closer. Here are some ways newlyweds can build trust:

1. Be truthful.
Unless you’re planning a surprise party for your spouse, you should never lie to your husband or wife. Even small lies – such as saying you’re working late when you’re shooting pool with your friends – are a bad idea. You’ll likely get caught in the lie, and suddenly your spouse will be wondering what else you’re lying about.

2. Be reliable.
Follow through on your promises big and small. If you tell your spouse you’re going to meet him or her at 8 p.m. at your house, be there on time. Promised to bring home milk? Bring home the milk. Of course, the big ones, such as fidelity and being there through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, also fall under this umbrella.

3. Set boundaries.
The green monster, jealousy, tends to rear its ugly head and threaten trust when couples don’t set boundaries with those outside their marriage. If you know it bothers your spouse when you flirt with that co-worker, then keep it professional. Don’t set up lunch dates with that ex who always calls. Make sure your spouse knows that he or she is your number one priority. He or she takes precedence over all others.

4. Be trusting yourself.
Unless your partner gives you a real reason to mistrust or doubt his or her honesty, you should trust him or her. This means that you should never accuse your spouse of cheating or lying to you unless you have hard evidence. Without proof, you’ll just create an air of mistrust. It’ll make your partner doubt your honesty, too. You should have faith in your husband or wife’s faithfulness and honesty. You must believe what he or she tells you.

5. Be fair.
Don’t let your partner pay for the sins of your exes. If you had unfaithful or dishonest exes, you should have worked that out with them. Your spouse is his or her own person and has already chosen to commit to a life with you. He or she should be judged on his or her own actions.

6. Trust yourself.
Your heart led you to this man or woman. Your gut told you that he or she was worthy of your love. Your mind told you to marry him or her. If you trust yourself, you know you made the right choice. And that’s a strong foundation on which to build trust.

Tips for making up with your boyfriend: How to say Sorry

He's mad at you... maybe there was a misunderstanding or maybe you really messed up. Now he won't even talk to you. Maybe he even broke up with you. What can you do? Is it too late? Relax, there are no impossible situations... yes, you can make things better and say sorry to your boyfriend in a way that is sincere and will help heal the situation.

Give him some space
Sometimes people just need some time alone to "be mad." I know this is hard to do, especially if you're anxious to make things better, but chill out for a bit and give him a chance to let some of his anger go. Wait until he is ready to talk and the chances of him accepting your apology are much greater.

Let him vent
Maybe you've given him some space but when you try talking with him he just blows up and starts yelling at you again. It's human nature when someone is yelling at you to get defensive and maybe even yell back. Resist this urge. Force yourself to just listen to what he is saying even if it's unreasonable or flat out not true. Arguing will only put fuel on the fire. Try agreeing with everything he says. You'll be surprised how quickly he calms down... he may even apologize to you for some of the things he said while angry.

Be sincere
People are good at reading when someone is being fake. Are you really sorry? If you're going to say sorry to your boyfriend you have to mean it. Really think about what you did or said. Put yourself in his shoes and ask how you would feel if the role were reversed. Put your ego aside and be humble. Yes, apologizing can be a humbling experience. A true, sincere apology is the sign of a mature person.

Still no luck?
What if you've tried all of the above but still not getting anywhere? Is the relationship in serious trouble of being over for good? If that's the case and you're serious about saving the relationship, then you need to have a more long-term plan. First, you cannot under any circumstances become pushy or needy in ANY way. He will only withdraw more if he feels pushed... it's human nature. Do not argue with him about the relationship or try to convince him about how you'll change, how you're meant to be together or anything like that. Time heals and some people need more time than others.


How men flirt

I’m sure many women out there have spent many a sleepless night over men. You toss and turn wondering if that cute guy from your office has even noticed that you exist.
Wouldn’t you like to learn how to tell if he’s really interested?

There are probably many other women who would love to know the answer to this question.

If there was a course on male flirting, I’m sure there would be long wait lists of women waiting to enroll!
Fortunately, there is help. Revealing the secrets of how men flirt can help you in the love department. Men provide many non-verbal clues that you just need to recognize.

Learning to interpret a male’s subconscious body gestures can help you determine whether you’ll be getting a second date.

Male body language will also let you know when he’s not the one. If a man doesn’t display any of the following signs, you're better off moving on to the next eligible bachelor.

He’ll attempt to improve his appearance when he’s attracted.

Just like in the animal kingdom, males tend to “preen” when they’re interested in a female. They pay extra attention to their grooming and personal appearance.

When a man spots an interesting female, he may automatically adjust his tie, smooth his collar or brush his shoulder.

Other common signs of preening involve fixing his hair or rearranging his shirt, cuff links, and clothing. He may check his teeth or automatically touch his throat.

He wants to look as good as he can before he approaches you. Therefore ladies, you should take any of the above as a very positive sign!

Signs of dominance. When he starts to act like an alpha male.

You may have heard the term “alpha male”. This refers to a man who is a strong, smart leader.

The term comes from the highest ranked or most dominant individual among social animals such as dogs or wolves. The alpha leader always dominates the rest of the pack and gains priority in mating with females. Men do the very same thing!

A flirting male may place his hands on his hips to subconsciously make himself appear bigger. This gesture says “Notice me. I’m the leader and I’m ready to get involved!”

A man may also pull in his stomach, puff up his chest or stand a little taller.

Eye contact. His eye movements will tell you all you need to know.

Eye contact is very important when you are studying how men flirt. Men who are interested will usually hold their gaze for a little longer than usual.

Their pupils may also dilate when they’re attracted to a woman. In fact, a man’s pupils can become 4 times bigger when he is interested!

Men may also perform what is called the “triangular formulation” with their eyes. This involves looking eye to eye, then down to a woman’s mouth and chin, down to the rest of her body and back up to her eyes again.

And you thought geometry was boring!
If a man throws you a few lingering glances, followed with a flirtatious grin, you definitely know he’s interested.

Touching. What does it mean if he touches your clothing or your shoulder?

There is important point to notice when you watch how men flirt. When a man is interested in a woman, he will often find an excuse to touch her. He may put a hand on her shoulder or knee, tickle her playfully or pat her on the back. Some men may even feel a woman’s blouse, jacket or shoulder.

He may come up with a quick excuse such as “your blouse looked so soft I just had to feel it” or “I was just removing a piece of lint from your dress”.

He may even “accidentally” bump into you while casually passing by.

Ladies, you know better! Take this as a very positive sign that things are going well.
This is his way of showing you he is attracted to you.

Men, just make sure not to grope her or get too “touchy” in the early stages. This may lead to a drink poured over your head, rather than a date!

Subconsious male body gestures. What his hands and feet will tell you.

The next time you’re watching a man and a woman interacting, take note whether the man hooks his thumbs in his belt.

If he does, what do you think it means?

That’s him trying to keep his pants from falling down? Hopefully not!

This gesture is a very important sign that he’s interested in you!

This is a subconscious way for a man to attract members of the opposite sex by framing that particular part of his body. No ladies, we are not referring to his wallet!

When a man flirts, he will also turn his entire body towards the woman. If his legs and feet remain pointed toward you, take this as a sign he is interested.

Ladies, if you are wondering whether the cute guy you are talking with is actually interested, take another look at how he is sitting. If his body or feet are turned away from you, you might want to look elsewhere for Mr. Right!

Men will tell you all you need to know with their body language and non-verbal gestures.
Watch for the following flirting gestures:He focuses on improving his appearance

  • He practices signs of dominance and acts like an “alpha male”

  • He maintains direct eye contact

  • He touches you directly or “accidentally”

  • He hooks his thumbs into his belt loops

  • His body and feet are turned towards you

f a man starts performing the above gestures, it’s a very good sign. Hopefully he has managed to capture your attention and show you he’s interested.

After this, will come the moment of truth – when he opens his mouth and starts talking. If your conversation goes as well as his flirting, you are off to a great romantic start!

How to choose a good husband?

     Choosing a good partner in life, is a very challenging thing to do, because any careless mistake might lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. In this article, I decided to limit my lesson on how to choose a good partner, by focusing only on selecting a good husband, so as to ensure proper treatment of the topic. May be, in my next article, I will treat that of selecting good wife.
     When you were young, you were only concerned with temporary satisfactions when it comes to love and relationship. And may be, you did develop one or two crush on a guy, based on the fact that he is handsome, intelligent, popular, funny, rich or bold. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with these traits, but these appeals are most common to youths and teens, who are still exhibiting youthful exuberance, causing them to develop a crush on someone based on superficial qualities of the person.
      But as one matures, however, we start to develop better human perspective powers to examine deep issues and qualities like; moral uprightness and others. By this time, you start to realize that the most popular guy you know is not trustworthy, or that the richest guy in your town or street may not be morally upright.
      And when you now look back into your past life, you might have come across so many different guys who did really met your youthful appeal, but yet, you don’t think they are right for you when it comes to marriage. This is because, when we were young, our minds centers only on satisfying our sexual and financial desires first, before considering other things and this why our youthful appeals and crush are based on superficial desires. But as we mature, our orientation changes.
   Remember, marriage is all about a decision, and a lifetime one indeed. Therefore, we should not put in mind the bastardization of marriage by Westernization and urbanization by the law and some so-called human right policies. Before making a decision to marry any man, think first and please think wisely. First, consider these things:
1.      Can he be my lifetime mate?
2.      Will he be able to bring out the best in me and vice versa?
3.      Does he want me just for a fling or physical satisfaction of his sexual needs?
4.      Is he ready to forgive and forget always?
5.      Does he like bullying or beating me whenever things go wrong?
6.      Is he wise in his spending and earning
         After answering these questions,, go further and examine yourself, to know if you are truly ready and clean to marry him, don’t say yes yet. Follow me?
         Remember that marriage is a holy union, so do not take into it, anything that is unclean or indecent. What do I mean by unclean? Read on. Before saying, “yes I do”, make sure that:
1.      You do not have any other person you promised marriage.
2.      You do not have any sexual imperfection, disease, illness or hatred. If you do, please inform him earlier so you people can jointly agree before getting married.
3.      You do not have any sexual pervasion or secrets like habitual masturbation, incest practices, lesbianism and many others. Also, inform him, so you two can agree or disagree.
4.      You have a legal backing to marry, if you are divorced, separated or for once married.
5.      You are spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally prepared to be a good wife yourself.
 After carrying out the above personal examinations, think beyond imaginable. What do I mean by this? Now, how compatible are you two? Don’t always be fooled by such statements like this; “we always agree on almost everything” “we love each other’ “we enjoy same things like music, food, sports etc” you should rather examine more critically what happens when you people disagree on issues, how fast does he forgive and forget? How does he handle conflicts? Is it by insisting on what he says or perhaps giving in, in anger or by pouring out abusive speeches? Or does he show reasonableness and a willingness to submit for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?
   Lastly, you must consider if he is too jealous, manipulative, possessive or easy going. Asking or making wise and deep inquiries from those that knew him for long might help you out. Therefore, inquire from his colleagues, business partners (if necessary), friends, siblings, parents, neighbors or religious brothers. This might help you to know him more and better. Don’t just say, “yes I do”, be careful with your choices of life partner.
  In conclusion, do this last examination of him, to know if he would make a good husband now and in the future.
  1. Is he industrious? Answer: yes or No.
  2. What is his relationship with his parents? Answer: Very good or not too good.
  3. What type of entertainment does he enjoy most? Answer: Rough ones or Cool ones.
  4. How close is he to his religion and God? Answer: Very close or I doubt that.
  5. Is he considerate of others? Answer: Yes or No?
  6. Is he physically abusive to you? Answer: Yes or No?
  7. Is he addicted to alcohol or tobacco? Answer: Yes or No?
  8. Who are his friends? Answer: They are nice and responsible or I can’t really tell?
  9. What goal does he have in life? Answer: I can’t just tell or Very nice one?
  10. Is he financially responsible? Answer: Yes or No?
       If you have answered those questions correctly without being biased may be because you are so much in love with him.  And you are very sure he passed up to a 70%, I would advice you to give him a try for a marriage, but if he didn’t, I doubt he would make a good husband for you may be in the future. Unless you are ready for a divorce, which is not in any way advisable.
           Good luck, please I would like to read your comments to enable me know the impact of this article to your life, and to encourage me to do more researches and findings. Thank you.

Top 11 Guy's Guide to Romance

The Guy's Guide To Romance contains invaluable information on:

  1. Meet Her
  2. Be a First Date Pro
  3. Friend to Girlfriend
  4. The Courting Phase
  5. Integrate Your Lives
  6. Maintenance
  7. The Tough Times
  8. Impress Her Family
  9. Living Together
  10. Keep It Exciting
  11. Plan Ahead


No.10 Solidify Your Friendship
How satisfied you feel in your relationship has to do with how connected you feel to your partner. Research suggests that our ability to connect with others (our attachment style) is influenced by our childhood experiences. According to Prior and Glasser (2006), 65% of children can be classified as having a secure attachment style, with the remaining 35% having an insecure attachment style.

As an adult, an insecure attachment style is associated with a slew of relationship troubles, including jealousy, obsession, and emotional highs and lows. The good news is that, regardless of your present pattern, you can become more securely attached, or connected, to your partner by developing a deeper friendship. To do that, incrementally spend more time with her doing something you both enjoy. Also, regularly ask for updates on your partner’s likes, dislikes, current stressors, and new interests, as people change over time.

No.9 Appreciate Each Other
Remember when you first started dating, how you used to go that extra mile to impress her? Well, one of the secrets to a long, fulfilling relationship is to continue to actively appreciate your partner. You don’t necessarily have to pull out all the stops the way you did back in the day, but regular efforts to show your partner that you appreciate her will do wonders for improving your relationship.

If you’re not sure where to start, a good place is by doling out daily compliments. Tell her she looks hot or thank her for organizational abilities when she reminds you to call your mother. The only rule is to make sure that you genuinely mean what you say.

No.8 Concentrate On The Present To Ensure Your Future
Interestingly, the ability of your relationship to weather tough times has a lot to do with your mutual availability in the here and now. Unfortunately, over time, for a variety of reasons, many couples move further apart from each other, meaning that when a rough patch hits, their relationship doesn’t survive. To build a rock-solid relationship, start by acknowledging rather than ignoring the ordinary moments in your relationship. If your partner wants to share something she’s reading on the net, for example, take a minute to listen, even if you simply grunt in response. It may sound strange, but if you accumulate enough of the little things, when you really need your partner, you’ll find she’s there for you.

No.7 Don't Distort
Researchers have known for a long time that unhappy couples focus on the negatives in their relationships. An early study by Robinson and Price (1980) found that unhappy couples underestimated the occurrence of pleasurable events in their relationships by 50%. Also, Fincham, Beach and Baucom (1987) found that individuals in distressed relationships were prone to attributing negative intentions to their partner’s behavior.

If you find yourself stuck in this rut of distorted thinking, the next time you have a negative thought about something your partner has done try to come up with a more neutral explanation for her actions. Another strategy is to consider whether you would judge yourself so harshly if the situation were reversed. Finally, remind yourself often of the good times you’ve spent together recently.

No.6 Share Power
When a man is not willing to share power with his relationship partner, John Gottman’s research indicates there is an 81% chance that his relationship will self-destruct. While hoarding power may have got you ahead in your career, this strategy will backfire in your relationship because your girlfriend will end up feeling like her opinions aren’t valuable and she doesn’t matter to you. To help save your relationship, develop a more accepting attitude toward compromise. Practice by giving in on issues you don’t feel extremely invested in.

No.5 Find Common Goals
A study conducted in collaboration with a dating site in the UK found that 13% of couples reported no longer having the same goals. This situation represents a ticking time bomb, as research has shown that couples who share dreams and goals have longer-lasting, more satisfying relationships. If you feel like you’ve been out of sync lately with your partner on this front, discuss your philosophy of life together. The aim is for both of you to share what you want your life to be about, where you want to end up and what these things mean to you. Look for anything that’s common between the two of you and talk about ways to work toward that aspiration together.

No.4 Understand Anger
While outbursts of anger are common even in healthy relationships, when anger becomes an entrenched part of your couple life, you should be concerned. Sue Johnson, master therapist and pioneer of emotion-focused therapy, an empirically validated treatment for distressed relationships, refers to anger as a secondary emotion. Her theory holds that other (primary) emotions, such as sadness or a fear of being abandoned, can be found behind an angry front.

Think back to the last argument you had with your partner and use this new knowledge to look for hidden messages in what you and your partner were each trying to communicate. Attempting to disregard the angry tone you both used and trying to tune in to what you were each really trying to say will help you to see that you both have needs in your relationship that make sense. For instance, “You’re a workaholic!” might really mean “I miss you and want to spend more time with you.”

No.3 Break Negative Cycles
Troubled relationships tend to follow a demand-withdraw pattern. That means that one person tends to be more critical and demanding, while the other tends to withdraw or shut down in response to conflict. Douglas Tilley, a proponent of emotion-focused therapy, notes that 85% of the time men tend to be the withdrawer. The reason may be biological -- men’s cardiovascular systems are more responsive to stress, so tuning out your mate is an attempt to avoid uncomfortable sensations. To break the negative pattern of conflict in your relationship, next time things get heated, let your partner know what’s going on with you by saying: “I can see this issue is important to you. I’m feeling too angry to discuss it right now, though, so let’s come back to it once we’ve cooled off.”

No.2 Focus On What's Fixable
As long as an argument doesn’t leave you feeling like you’ve been through an emotional roller coaster, consider it fixable. One major area that causes tension in relationships is finances, with a longitudinal study by economist Jay Zagorsky finding that 33% of couples have seriously divergent views on income, wealth and debts. In particular, the initial stages of living together may be especially fraught with monetary concerns. So that this problem doesn’t spiral out of control, sit down with your other half and craft a detailed action plan, consulting any resources that might help to get your finances on track. You should both be able to live with the new arrangement or it won’t work. Use this method to address any other problems in your life that you deem fixable.

No.1 Accept The Unsolvable
Unfortunately, according to relationship scientist John Gottman, 69% of relationship conflicts are persistent problems, meaning they revolve around issues that tend to resurface no matter how long you’ve been together. If you find a problem seems to call up painful emotions, you’re looking at one that’s persistent.

To stop this trouble from ruining your relationship, you’ll need to address the bigger issues underlying your difficulty. Take turns discussing with your partner what this loaded issue really means to you. When your partner is talking, your job is to listen, be nonjudgmental and to find something in her perspective that makes sense to you. When it’s your turn to talk, she should be doing the same thing. By treading more gently into touchy areas, you should at least be able to agree to disagree or make some small concessions for one another.


9+ Words Women Use …
By Mary Michelle Payumo
Women are often misunderstood by men. That’s why men should know the words used by women to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminologies..

Here are the top 9 words women often use to hide their feelings:

#1. “Fine”

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

#2. “Five Minutes”

If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

#3. “Nothing”

This is the calm before the storm. This means something,and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

#4. “Go Ahead”

This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.

#5. “Loud Sigh”

This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

#6. “That’s Okay”

This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

#7. “Thanks”

A woman is thanking you, do not question or faint. Just say “you’re welcome”. (I want to add in a clause here – this is true, unless she says “Thanks a lot” – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say “you’re welcome” … that will bring on ‘whatever’).

#8. “Whatever”

Is a women’s way of saying F-YOU!

#9. “Don’t worry about it, I’ve got it”

Another dangerous statement, meaning you knew it had to be done but you were lazy to do it and had to wait till i came home to do it. Men should automatically know it has to be done, also, this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘what’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to #3.


How many of us can be lucky enough to bring back the romance of teenage love stories? Can you ever forget your high school love? Or does that spark come alive when you come across each other again. Jamie Barlow shares his joy of melting in love.

teenage love stories
Teenage love stories and reunions
A school reunion. I wondered if I should go.
It had almost been a decade since I’ve even given that a thought. Back at school, my pals and I had pledged that we would try and make it there each year, but well, I gave up on that thought the very year I graduated.
But then this time, as I held the invitation, something within me urged me to participate in it. What the hell, I could definitely use another night out, I told myself.
I called a few of my old school buddies and convinced them to make it there, and they were quite surprised to see the all new vigor in me to go to the reunion this year.
The anticipation of the reunion
The D-day arrived and on that warm evening, I expected nothing extraordinary, just a few paunchy men, and a posse of chattering women.
But inside I felt a queer excitement that I hadn’t felt for a long time. Being in the entertainment industry, parties were what I indulged in, for a living. But then, something was different this time, or was it just my lousy intuition?
The reunion at the glitzy hotel was nice, quite interesting. As the party set in, it was great! It was great to see my old friends with nicknames like ‘curly’ now with great big bald patches. We laughed and talked like little kids in their ninth grade. It was fun, and I wondered why I had never bothered with reunion parties all these years.
Memories of a teenage love story
I walked up to the bar counter to get myself another drink. I excused myself through groups of middle aged teenagers in their twenties and thirties, spilling beer as they laughed voraciously. The reunion was fun, I reminded myself. With a drink in my hand, I walked back across the room. I was lost in my thoughts as I unknowingly elbowed someone in a bunch of giggling women. I pulled myself together and apologized to her. She was very pretty, and accepted the apology gracefully. Her eyes were charming.
I walked past, and her eyes reminded me of a beautiful memory. Something I couldn’t have lost, but had tried to forget during all these years. My heart missed a beat, and began to pound hard, really hard. Could it be her? I turned around and wished for a miracle.
Oh my god, it is Nancy!
This was the very girl who stole my dreams each night years ago. I could tell it was her with a glance. I could never forget those lovely doe like eyes. She was beautiful, and hadn’t changed a bit since I last saw her. I stumbled to a chair as I tried to hold my heart within my chest. I was panicking, I felt like a little boy we read about in those love stories. The same way I always felt when she was around.
Memories of teenage love
The first time I felt this way, I was in ninth grade. I was one of those kids you call a dorky middle bencher, not too geeky, but yet not cool enough to fit in, at the back of the class. There was this new girl in school, and the teacher introduced her to the class. Her name was Nancy. I wanted to “make friendship with her” but each time I walked up to her, I just froze and ended up with a sheepish grin.
One day in class, I whispered to the girl sitting next to me to introduce me to Nancy. She just smiled and kept quiet. When the bell rang and the teacher walked out, this girl just stood up and shouted out at the top of her voice, much to my bewilderment, “Nancy, this Jamie likes you!!” The class burst out laughing and yes, Nancy laughed out too. I just wanted to hide under the bench. I felt so stupid. For the rest of the classes, I just sat very quietly and contemplated. Finally, I told Nancy that I liked her, that very evening. It was all unplanned, and I made a big mess of everything. She put me out of my misery with a well placed ‘No’, which shattered my heart.
I couldn’t speak much to her after that day, I was too scared. I would tell her that I liked her, once in a while, which made me look all the more stupid. I used to blank call her, every now and then. It felt good to listen to her voice, until the day her dad installed a caller id which was relatively new back then. She got to know it was me who used to blank call her, and she got mad.
She called me up and told me that I was a ‘psycho’ and tried telling me that there were better things to talk about than ‘can I meet you after school?’ She was the one who taught me the sentence ‘how’s the weather?’, and told me to ask her that, each time I wanted to tell her that I liked her. Two years passed and there wasn’t much I could do to get over this girl. I even brought her cards that I never gave her, and recorded cassettes that I couldn’t give her, though I used to neatly write her name on each tape.
Graduation day passed by and we parted ways with interesting pet names for each other. She called me a ‘psycho’, and well, I called her ‘the one’ though I could never say that out loud. I tried forgetting her, but it was something I couldn’t do. I dated a few girls, and got my life back in place. I lost the middle bencher tag, and got the new tag, ‘charming’. Wish I could have had the same tag back in school. But well, I learnt a new line all by myself though. ‘Shit happens’.
Blast from the past
A thwack on my shoulder had me back in my senses, along with a splash of vodka on my thigh. It was one of the guys staring at me. The guys got around me, and wondered if I was too drunk. I was, I really was, and only I knew it wasn’t just the drink. In my mind, I was in the middle of a teenage boy’s love story. I pointed out across the room, and they followed my finger. The guys were stunned too, only for a second, until they burst out laughing. A few hands grabbed my shirt, and a few let their hands fall hard on my sorry back. They couldn’t believe that someone could make me go weak in the knees even after so long. I couldn’t believe it either!
I never was the one who had any trouble approaching or picking up girls, but right now, I felt like the teenage boy who was in love with a girl in class. I knew I could never walk up to her and start talking. She would still assume that I was a psycho.  I really wanted to make a fast and a good impression with her. I was pretty sure she wouldn’t recognize me now. I had lost my thick glasses, and my loser attitude. My friends goaded me to approach her, they didn’t know I was still scared to talk to this one girl. I just shrugged them and pretended like I didn’t care about knowing her.
Rekindling the teenage love story
I had to let her know I was smooth before I approach her, and I knew just what to do. This was impression time, and this was my only chance. I walked up to one of my old teachers, and after a brief conversation, I had a good old microphone in my hands in a few minutes. I wasn’t a good emcee for nothing. I’ve proved that I was amongst the best in all the parties, but right now, I felt like this was my biggest and most hard-to-please audience.
I called out to the crowd, and I felt my confidence ooze back into me, my voice through the speakers always had that effect on me! I had the audience laughing and indulging in games and crazy activities. I tried hard not to stare at Nancy. I could see her from the corner of my eye. She was whispering to her friends once in a while.
Now that’s a good sign! That definitely is. She recognized me… wow! This is going to be fun. I wondered what she might be thinking. ‘Can this really be him, the same psycho from school?’
I walked off the stage with a roaring applause, and a Herculean ego! I loved what I just did. I walked past Nancy, and pretended like I didn’t see her. Man, I wanted to talk to her so bad! But I knew what I had to do, and I wasn’t going to screw it up. I had to play my cards right.
Sometime later, we had one of those group games that are played in school reunions. It was just the moment I had been waiting for, the Team Building game, where people had to form groups in certain numbers or be eliminated. I made sure I’d be in the same group as her in one of the rounds, and for the first time that night, I braved an eye contact. I looked at her, with a bit of surprise, and just stared. Fake recognition dawned upon me! It was Nancy.
“Nancy?!” I blurted out in fake astonishment. I had to use a lot of fake emotions that night. She smiled. Oh god, my heart gave an instant meltdown. Our group was eliminated from the game, wrong number of people. But who cares, I knew I won. I could see it in her eyes. It wasn’t the same ‘I see a psycho’ look from the school days. It was warm, and more than friendly.
I pulled a chair back for her to sit down. She smiled. Chivalry rules! We sat down and spoke. I spoke like I had never spoken to her. We laughed, and talked the entire night. She told me about how pleasantly surprised she was to see this new person in me. I told her how nice it was to see her after all these years, and still feel the same way. She gushed. I could have melted right there.
I asked her out to dinner, and the both of us took off to one of the quiet restaurants in the hotel. We talked and talked, and I could see the warmth in her beautiful eyes that felt so good. We spoke about all the stupid things I did back then, and laughed it off together. We took a walk by the garden, and sat down on one of the garden benches. I clasped her hand and told her how happy I was to see her again.
She smiled as she placed her other hand on mine. ‘Same here, Jamie… same here.’
And at that moment, I knew I was truly in love, and one of the best teenage love stories was kindled, not just in my heart, but in both our hearts.