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5 STEPS TO LIFE AFTER THE DEATH OF A LOVED ONE


Overview

The death of a loved one is a painful and lonely experience. Survivors go through a mixture of feelings ranging from sadness, depression, anger and confusion. Depending on the relationship of the deceased person and you, recovering from the effects can take years. Dealing with the grief from the death of a loved one is difficult and may require professional counseling. However, when worked through correctly, grief leads to acceptance of the loss and enables you to get on with your life.


Denial

When a loved one passes away, denial sets in. Denial is the first stage of grief. You have a difficult time facing the reality of your loss. For weeks sometimes, maybe even months you try to ease the pain of the loss by denying it. When reality finally starts setting in you may withdraw from most of your friends and contacts. According to Memorial Hospital, denying the pain and loss is harder on your body than working through the grief.


Anger

After denial, you may experience anger. Anger comes from the feeling of hurt caused by the passing. You may feel anger at the loved one for putting you through the pain, even though the loved one is dead. Being angry with others and blaming them for the death is common. Self-anger resulting from the feeling that you could have prevented it may be present. Working through the anger is difficult but once resolved you move on to the next stage of grief.

Bargaining

When the denial and anger passes, you may go through a bargaining period. This is a stage where you start bargaining with God. You promise things so he will take away the loss. This is a sad period. After you realize bargaining is not going to work you move to the next stage of grieving.

Depression

Depression starts setting in when you come to the realization of the loss. After realizing the loved one is gone and no amount of bargaining or anger will bring them back, you feel the loss and sadness and depression begins. According to Mental Health and Mental Retardation Center of the Concho Valley, you may cry, have a change in sleep or eating habits, withdraw from relationships while you process the loss.

Acceptance

In this stage of grief you have accepted the loss, overcame the anger and depression and begin to return living a normal life. You can plan again. While you may feel a void in your life, where the loved one was, you eventually realize to value the memories and the sadness slowly fades.