FALLING OUT OF LOVE: WHY DOES IT HAPPEN?

Falling out of love can happen as naturally as falling into love. You may fall out of love and wonder what to do. So do you want to fall out of love completely or do you want to reignite the spark of romance? It’s really all in your own hands.

As your relationship grows older, are you falling out of love with your partner?

People fall out of love all the time. It’s natural. But the reasons behind it are simple and very revealing, right from the start.

Falling out of love

Where is your relationship heading?  Are your minor squabbles just lovers’ tiffs or are they signs that you should think fast and work to improve your relationship and resolve the differences.

This may sound clichéd but it’s a fact that relationships are eternally based on the understanding between individuals.

The relationship between a man and a woman who are either seeing each other or are married, at the best of times, can be in complete conundrums. The initial stages of any relationship are the defining moments that give an inkling of the direction in which the relationship will go.

It gives an insight to the path the partners would walk, a rose petal strewn one or one riddled with pot holes.

Should your fall out of love or stay in love?

Love is indeed blind, because there are times when it’s difficult to understand whether we are into love or not, or whether we are even ready for it. Your better half may be a complete stranger or a fast friend before the both of you entered into a committed relationship.

An ideal mate is what everyone craves for. No one likes falling out of love. It’s annoying, depressing and a very sensitive issue.

The whole idea of a relationship like love is fantasized about these days and we must give all credit to the mush and chick flicks, which portrays the ‘picture perfect’ couples, living happily ever after.

But these movies, they fail to show the dark underbelly of this much glamorized relationship.

In the beginning, everything seems to move smoothly in love. The understanding, love, care, mutual connectivity, compatibility and intimacy are at its best. You tend to expect the sun, the moon, the stars and everything nice from your partner. But happy relationships come with a price tag and the actual reactions of the chemistry between both of you shows its aftereffects when certain aspects of your relationship come under trial.

What you should know about falling out of love

The most important thought to ponder about when you fall out of love, is whether your relationship has outlived its time, or are there too many irreconcilable differences, lack of intimacy, etc. Only a few couples overcome these problems while most others flounder. It takes years to build relations but only a few seconds to break them and these days, young couples are increasingly facing the hurried-divorce syndrome.

Divorce today has become like the weather column which changes every day. Surprisingly, one cannot give a specific reason for the separation because there is plenty behind the scene, which adds to the misery and cause of divorce.

Few egocentric couples fall in the trap of the easy divorce system, where neither of them is ready to give up or compromise. Self-esteem is a crucial part in any relationship but if it takes the form of an ego, then nothing but parting ways can keep the couple moving ahead in life. The words of your partner, which seemed like unadulterated honey dripping directly from the hive, would now sound like the hiss of a serpent.

When you’re falling out of love, every action of the individual would lead to an opposite reaction from the other one in the relationship.

Anger and falling out of love

Jealousy and insecurity are also the causes for a relationship to break down and make one stray and fall out of love. A partner may not be comfortable with their spouse’s overindulgence and interest in some other person. Insecurity carves a path for itself when there is a fear of losing the partner and this thought nags the mind of an individual.

Jealousy and insecurity go hand in hand because the former breeds the latter. The compatibility of the couples should be so intense that such unwanted weeds should not crop up between them. Usually it’s these petty misunderstandings that lead to whale sized conflicts.

There are so many more reasons behind why people fall out of love.

And that’s why it’s crucial to communicate and come to an understanding before you fall out of love, and realize that it’s too late. Click here to read about compatibility in love and how it can make a huge difference when it comes to falling out of love.

HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

For the most part, people want the same thing from a romantic partner. People want spouses and partners who are:

• Understanding 


• Appreciative 


• Respectful 


• Caring and kind 


• Helpful 


• Trustworthy 


• Positive 


• Fun to be around

Relationships are difficult to maintain when they are filled with conflict, negativity and a lack of trust.
So, what does it take to maintain a healthy relationship?


People in long-term, satisfying relationships tend to do the following (this advice is adapted from Montgomery, Cole and Bradac, and Canary and Stafford's work on Relational Maintenance):
Slow, but Consistent - Relationships work the best when people go slow and take their time getting to know each other. Whirlwind romances usually end in disaster. It also helps to be consistently supportive and encouraging. Inconsistent behavior causes misunderstandings and uncertainty.

Keep Things Upbeat - Relationships work the best when partners express a positive and upbeat attitude towards each other. Genuine displays of happiness and affection go a long way when trying to make a relationship work. By contrast, relationships fail when indifference, anger and negativity become the norm. In fact, even a little negativity can create a lot of problems in a close relationship. This does not mean that people cannot express negative feelings in a relationship, but that there are appropriate (and inappropriate) ways of dealing with one’s negative feelings (see, talk about problems).

Approach Problems Together - Couples feel closer and are more satisfied with their relationships when they approach problems and difficulties as a team. Couples who take an US versus the PROBLEM, rather than a YOU versus ME approach to conflict are much happier in the long run.

Don't Take Each Other For Granted - Over time, couples typically take each other for granted. At the start of a relationship people appreciate all the things that their partners do for them. However, as time goes on, people tend to expect more, but acknowledge a partner's contributions less often. To keep a relationship happy and healthy it is important to show appreciation on a consistent basis.

Appreciate Differences - Relationships work the best when partners have a lot in common, but respect and appreciate the differences that do exist. It helps to appreciate someone for who they are rather than try to change them or how they behave (see,relationship dynamics).

Be Approachable - People need to be able to talk freely with a romantic partner. Sharing what is going on in one’s life and how one feels about issues is important to do. But, being open with a partner is not always easy because it requires spouses to tell the truth and to LISTEN to things that may be difficult to hear. Listening in an attempt to UNDERSTAND, not control, evaluate, or judge is critical to having an satisfying relationship.
Express Commitment - Relationships work the best when partners reassure each other of their love and commitment. It never hurts to tell a spouse that you love him or her and that you will always be there.

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT MY BOYFRIEND IS LYING TO ME

What Are The Signs That My Boyfriend Is Lying To Me?

Can you catch a guy lying to you? It depends on how “savvy” the guy is, but in most cases it’s a cinch. Of course, if you are stuck with a “habitual” liar, your relationship is not going to last the course. Innocent lies are okay, every now and then, but what you have to safe guard against are “black” lies aimed at keeping you in the dark about his “side affairs”. It helps to be aware of the signs your boyfriend gives off unconsciously while lying. 

The good news is that most guys truly suck at lying. Girls can do a much better job of lying than a guy can ever hope to do. This is because guys are largely unconscious of their “body”, contrary to girls, who are more in touch with their bodies. So when a guy is lying, he is bound to give off some unconscious clues through his body movements. If you are a keen observer you can catch the most “savvy” guy trying to dupe you.

Here are the most common signs that guys give when they are lying

His voice cracks – This is usually the most common give away sign among guys. When a guy is lying consciously, he might end up changing the “modulation” of his voice because of the stress he puts on his vocal chords. Guys have a “broad” voice but they just need to put a little pressure on their chords to make it “shrill”. While lying, a guy unconsciously puts pressure on his chords, and thus ends up “cracking” his voice. So if you detect subtle changes in his tone “modulation”, it’s a hint that he might be feeling guilty within, or hiding something from you. 


He smiles awkwardly – Guys giveaway their “guilt” through their smile. If you detect a “nervous” or an “awkward” smile, it’s a sure fire indication that he is not comfortable with something he is saying, or doing. You can call it a “hyena” smile, which reeks of guilt and fear. Some guys practice hard at not “smiling” while telling a lie. Here’s a tip, when you have a inkling that he’s lying, just simply give him a long, cold, “silent” stare and see his reaction. If he gives you an “awkward” smile, it would mean he’s hiding something. 

He speaks with “pauses” – If he takes too much time in answering you, it’s an indication that he is “grinding” his brains to come up with a convincing lie. It’s easy to detect a lack of spontaneity when a guy is trying to come up with a lie; this is because most guys are not too “sure” of their acumen at lying. It is said that girls can lie glibly, because they can detach themselves from their mind when they are lying. The same is not true for most guys; in fact they tend to go more into the mind when they are trying to lie. Too many pauses in the midst of his conversation is a sure sign that your boyfriend is lying to you. 

He tries to change the topic – The simple rule that most guys follow is “what she does not know can’t hurt her”, so they simple try to divert the topic when they are cornered. Guys are good at changing topics glibly, because it does not feel like a “lie” to them. Hiding information is not the same as lying, in a guy’s dictionary. So as much as possible the guy would prefer to simply change the topic instead of running the risk of telling a lie. If you catch your boyfriend consciously avoiding a particular question, while trying to take your attention away to some other topic, it’s an indication that he’s hiding something from you. 

He reacts in anger – When guys get cornered, their usual reaction is anger. Guilt or fear can easily change to aggression as a means of defending their stand. So if your boyfriend acts unreasonably “aggressive” when questioned about something, it’s an indication that he has a few “ghosts” he’s trying to hide. Most guys are vulnerable to this weakness, where they unconsciously hide their fears behind their show of anger. 

He avoids eye contact – Try as hard as they will, guys can never get good at lying because they find it hard to master the art of maintaining steady eye contact while telling a lie, something that most girls are really good at. Usually guys tend to twitch their eyes, look around or just stare in a different direction when confronted with a lie. You can easily detect when a guy is lying by asking him to talk while looking in your eyes, very few guys can pull that off with success. 

He makes hurried body movements – Guys are less in touch with their body than girls, and so are vulnerable to unconscious body movements especially when they are nervous, fearful or feeling guilty. If you notice your boyfriend passing his fingers through his hair, shaking his legs, playing with his fingers or scratching his face, in a hurried movement, while talking to you, it’s a good indication that he’s edgy about something. 

Very few guys ever learn the art of subtlety, they are clumsy and gross with their actions most of the time. This is where a girl has an edge over a guy; she is a lot more adept at subtleness and can do a better job of lying or getting away with a lie. All the above signs of your boyfriend lying to you, are very subjective but would be true in most cases; in any case you can use them as cues to “interrogate” further. 

TOP 13 RELATIONSHIP TIPS EVERY COUPLE SHOULD KNOW

Beginning a relationship is generally the easy part; it's maintaining the connection that gets a little tricky. That's why a growing number of twosomes (whether or not they've tied the knot) are going into couples therapy as a preemptive strike against the tough times that will inevitably hit...and to learn how to keep the good times flowing. To give you a leg up in your love life, we asked the country's top relationship experts to share the most crucial things they've uncovered over the years — from big-picture philosophies to little gestures that go a long way. These practices will help keep your union in a happy, healthy place.

1. Act Out of Character
Couples develop a particular dynamic: the way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type — in a positive way — you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time.
—Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia


2. Get in Touch a Lot
No doubt you hug and kiss each other hello and maybe snuggle a little after having sex. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're watching TV, taking his hand when you're walking down the street, or fondling his thigh during dinner are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on an instinctive level.
—Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author of Emotional Fitness for Couples

3. Don't Be BFFs
Being pals with your man is great in theory. But that kind of connection actually can kill your sex life. You could wind up having a roommatelike bond with each other rather than a hot one if you let yourself lose track of the masculine-feminine tension that excited you at the beginning of your relationship. Save the gab sessions for when you hang out with your girlfriends and your sexy energy for connecting with your guy.
—Lana Holstein, MD, director of sexuality and vitality programs for couples at Miraval Resort in Catalina, Arizona

4. Enjoy a Steady Diet of Sex
If you want to maintain closeness with your man, get out of your head and into bed. Guys feel more comfortable connecting with women on a physical level, not engaging in deep discussions. To strengthen your bond, approach your lust life as you would your gym regimen or your diet — make it part of your routine. Set a goal to have sex at least a couple times a week.
—Toni Coleman

5. Take Turns Talking
To make sure you both get a chance to state what's on your mind during a disagreement — and get your points across — alternate playing reflective therapist, where one listens while the other talks.
—Psychologist Diana Kirschner, PhD, author of Opening Love's Door

6. Find the Intersection
When making decisions together, try to find common ground. You each should write down exactly what you want. Let's say you're angling for a vacay in San Francisco to see the sights and hit up the cool shops and restaurants, while he wants a tropical getaway where he can veg out by the pool and sip drinks with umbrellas in the glass. Now that your desires are clearly laid out on paper, you can pick a place that will satisfy both your needs. A cool city, a little sun...how about Miami?
—Paul Dobransky, MD, author of The Secret Psychology of How We Fall in Love

7. Be More Positive Than Negative
There's a more effective way to air grievances than to file an angry complaint. Sandwich your negative comment between two positives. If you want to complain about how he's always late, for example, try something like "You know, I love that you're so laid-back and easygoing, but it really bothers me when you show up so late. I'm sure you can still be the fun guy I adore and also be on time."
—Los Angeles psychologist Yvonne Thomas, PhD

8. Echo Each Other
When you and your man are having a serious relationship talk, it's easy to get so caught up in how you want to respond that you're not really listening to what's being said. That's why it's important for both of you to repeat each other: so you know you've been heard and you feel understood.
—Yvonne Thomas

9. Grow Your Tolerance
Neither of you is perfect, and the quirks you both have are here to stay. So rather than let those annoying traits work your last nerve, try to get in touch with the upside of those particular flaws, even if it's not immediately recognizable. Instead of getting annoyed when he starts screaming at the TV, for example, remind yourself how much you love his passion. Or if his shyness with new people bugs you, think about how refreshing it is to be with a chill, genuine guy rather than a blowhard who needs to chat with everyone in the room.
—Denver psychologist Jennifer Oikle, PhD, dating coach for Coupling Connection

 10. Take a Time-Out
It's important that you get a break from the daily grind and spend alone time as a couple — cell phones and the Internet are off-limits. It can be a fun day trip or just a few quiet hours to yourselves. The point is simply to steal away (even if you're going nowhere) so you can reconnect, free of any distractions. 
—Diana Kirschner

11. Have His Back
You might not agree with your guy when he's had a riff with a friend or he thinks his boss is being unfair, but you should always be on his side...and vice versa. Otherwise, you'll both feel like you can't count on each other. That doesn't mean you have to take the "you're so right" route all the time. Just hear him out, and let him know that you'll support him no matter what.
—New York City psychotherapist JoAnn Magdoff, PhD

12. Spend a Little Money on Each Other
You don't have to wait for a special occasion to give small presents to show your love. In fact, gifts are more fun-and meaningful — when they're not expected. Try to get into the habit of exchanging sweet tokens of appreciation for no particular reason. Don't go and blow your paycheck though. It's not about being extravagant; it's just a way of showing that you really get — and think about — each other. Maybe you buy him a tee of his favorite band that you saw on sale or he gets you a pair of pajamas in your favorite color. 
—Barton Goldsmith

13. Be a Good Date
Face it, no one can stay fascinating forever. After being together for a while, the initial excitement fades, and your guy can start to get kind of boring sometimes. Hey, don't think you're off the hook — if you're feeling a little ho-hum about him, the feeling is likely mutual! To combat the blahs, take turns coming up with an interesting date idea every month. Keep the time and details to yourself, and try to think outside the box — dinner and a movie is not exactly innovative. An awesome concert or a snowboarding lesson, for example, is a much less predictable treat. 
—Jennifer Oikle

The Romance-Friendly Home

Cohabiting has its perks, like frequent opportunities for sex and someone to read the Sunday paper with. But harmonizing decorating tastes and maintaining a sense of mystery can be a challenge. Michael Payne, interior designer and host of HGTV's Designing for the Sexes, offers tips for sharing a happy home.

Compromise on color. Men veer toward taupe and beige, while women tend to like stronger hues, such as red or deep gold. To create a compatible home, especially in the bedroom, where you're most intimate, try colors both sexes agree on, such as chocolate brown or silver blue.

Banish TV from the bedroom. Television is a major intimacy killer. Watch your favorite shows and DVDs in another room, and use the boudoir for three things: sleep, snuggling, and sex.

Install dimmers. Low lighting may seem like a cheesy cliché, but it really can set a mood, making your living room feel cozy and giving your bedroom a sexy vibe.

Create your own space. Even though you're sharing a pad, you each need a separate area to serve as a quiet escape. It might be just a chair and table in a corner, a desk, or if you're lucky, a spare room.

Surprising Screwups

Avoid these often-overlooked issues.

You ignore money matters. Even if it's awkward, you need to discuss who should pay for what and how much both of you can afford.

You're too friendly with his pals. They're his friends, and he wants to preserve that separate part of his life that doesn't include you. So don't tag along every time he's with them.

You never argue. By not addressing a problem, it probably won't be resolved. Explain how you're feeling, give him a chance to respond, and don't let it devolve into an insult bout.

You're too low-maintenance. If he's inconsiderate and you don't call him on it, he'll keep treating you badly. Just be straight-up and say you don't like being disrespected.
Source: Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD
—Reported by Lauren Denigan

HOW PEOPLE BEHAVE WITH INTIMACY AND COMFORT

When trying to make sense of our close relationships, it also helps to understand how people form romantic attachments to each other.

To begin with, people differ in their comfort with intimacy in a very predictable manner.

Different Styles of Attachment
Briefly, the way we form an attachment to our romantic partners is based upon the kind of care we received as an infant. And as infants, we typically form an attachment to our primary caregiver, in one of three ways.

Please note, this page draws on the work of Bartholomew, Bowlby, Shaver and Hazan's work on attachment styles and Cole and Leet's review of research on attachment styles.


As Children
When caregivers are consistently available and responsive, infants form a secure style of attachmen. By and large, secure children feel safe and comfortable, and are able to explore and develop new skills with minimal anxiety or concern.

When caregivers are inconsistent or overly protective, however, infants form an anxious or preoccupied attachment to the person primarily responsible for their care. Anxious orpreoccupied children monitor their caregivers more closely, attempt to stay by their caregiver’s side and respond more dramatically when in trouble. Anxious children are simply more fearful and less confident than infants who are securely attached.

Finally, if caregivers are neglectful, infants are likely to develop adismissing style of attachment. Dismissing children show few signs of needing their caregivers, they do not spend a lot of time trying to get their caregiver’s attention, and they do their best to cope with problems on their own.

As Adults
When we fall in love as an adult, the style of attachment formed as an infant influences how we treat our romantic partners.

People who formed a secure attachment to their caregivers tend to form a secure attachment to the person they love.

Individuals with a secure style of attachment have more satisfying and longer lasting relationships. Secure individuals are comfortable being close to their partners. They are comfortable having someone depend on them just as they are comfortable being dependent on another individual. Being more trusting, open, and understanding, they approach problems and issues that may arise with their partners in a constructive manner.

People who formed an anxious or preoccupied attachment as an infant, by comparison, are more likely to be preoccupied with their relationships as an adult. Anxious or preoccupied adults are constantly worried and anxious about their love life - they crave and desperately need intimacy - but, they never stop questioning their partner’s love (“do you really love me?”).Anxious individuals are concerned that their partners will leave them.

These adults are obsessed with their relationships and everything that happens in them. They rarely feel completely loved and they experience extreme emotional highs and lows. One minute their romantic partner can make their day by showing them the smallest level of interest and the next minute they are worried that their partner doesn’t care about them. Overall, anxiously attached individuals are hard to satisfy; you can’t love them enough, or be close enough to them, and they constantly monitor their relationships for problems. Ironically, their need for love, makes it easy for anxious individuals to be taken advantage of when it comes to love and romance, which in the long run can create even more suspicion and doubt.

Finally, people who had a dismissing style of attachment as an infant are likely to form a dismissing attachment to their romantic partners. As adults, dismissing individuals are uncomfortable with intimacy - they actually fear it. They do not like it when people get close, and they don’t like being dependent on a partner or having someone be dependent on them.Dismissing individuals tend not to trust others, and they are more self-sufficient, cynical, and independent in nature. They are less likely to fall deeply in love and need a lot less affection and intimacy. Dismissing individuals are more apt to put their time into their careers, hobbies, and activities than their relationships. They also get easily annoyed with their relational partners and often display negative feelings and hostility toward their loved ones.

Attachment Styles Influence How We React

Knowing if you have a secure, anxious/preoccupied or dismissing style of attachment is important because it influences what happens in our romantic relationships.

It influences how people think, feel, and behave. Almost every relational behavior from jealousy to infidelity to deception is influenced by one's attachment style.

The following example shows how important attachment styles can be:
Imagine that you are engaged and that your fiancé is going out with his or her friends for the evening. Your fiancé says that he or she will be home by midnight and that he or she will give you a call at that time.

Now, imagine that you have a secure attachment style and it is after 1a.m. and you notice that the phone hasn’t rung. You are probably thinking that all is well, your fiancé is out having fun and he or she will call you in the morning – no big deal.

Now, imagine that you have an anxious or preoccupied style of attachment. The exact same scenario – its 1a.m. and the phone hasn’t rung. What’s going through your mind and how are you dealing with the situation? How many times have you checked your phone to make sure it is working or how many times have you thought about calling your fiancé? Maybe you’ve even decided to go out and track him or her down.

Finally, consider what a person with a dismissing style of attachment would be experiencing. Do you even notice the phone hasn’t rung? Probably not.

Now, let’s fast forward to the next morning. Your fiancé calls early in the morning.

How would a secure individual respond? As a securely attached individual you are pleased to hear from your fiancé and would probably ask “What happened last night?” And as a secureperson, you are most likely to be satisfied with the explanation that is given.

As an anxious/preoccupied person, however, you will be a complete wreck, having been up all night imagining the worst and most likely plotting some sort of way to get even. By the time the phone finally rings, your anger and frustration can’t help but show, whether through sulking or putting your fiancé on the defensive by asking accusatory questions (“How could you do that? Where were you? Who were you with? Why didn’t you call when you said you would?”).

Finally, as a dismissing individual you will probably be wondering why your fiancé is bothering to call so early in the morning – “What do you want?”
Simply put, people don't see the world as it is, rather we impose our beliefs on what we experience (see, impose beliefs - and the examples provided).

It helps to understand how we form attachments to romantic partners because our style of attachment influences so much of what happens in our close relationships. Again, one's attachment style influences our experience of jealousy, self-disclosure, conflict resolution, love, commitment, lying,infidelity, sexual behavior, just to name a few.

For instance, anxious/preoccupied individuals are more likely to experience jealousy, while dismissing individuals are much less likely to do so. Anxious/preoccupied individuals are more likely to engage in too much self-disclosure, while dismissing individuals try not to reveal things about themselves. Anxious/preoccupied individuals are overly eager to make relational commitments while dismissing individuals are uncomfortable doing so.

If you are curious about you and/or your partner's attachment style - you can take an attachment test on another website. Please note that there are four styles of attachment, but we only discuss three of them here. To date, most of the research on attachment has focused on secure, anxious/preoccupied and dismissing individuals - for more information on all four styles, please see wikipedia.

LOVE FACTS: FALLING OUT OF LOVE OR COMPATIBILITY

Compatibility in love is a delicate balance between lovers. Understanding compatibility in relationships can help you see if what you share with your lover is true love. Find out how to build compatibility, and learn to find out when a relationship is over.

Click here to read the introductionon why lovers end up falling out of love.

Compatibility in love is vital for any relationship to work out.

But for a great relationship between two people, there must exist an insightful compatibility in relationships.

But how does it really work? And where does compatibility in love fail?

Compatibility in love and its failure

Most couples face the problem of lack of time for each other.

A career-oriented woman and a working husband meet only on weekends due to their odd working hours and thus, the tired mind and a fatigued body leads to lack of intimacy between the couple, which affects their relationship.

People are less tolerant and this may be well be because they have many choices.

The corporate couples fall under the “hardware-software” systems wherein the husband works for the hardware industry with working hours that stretch to times like those of owls and their partner works during the day.

This hardly gives them a few moments to spend with each other on any given day. They battle out small issues rather than talk through it, and find solace when they are away from each other.

Failed examples of compatibility in relationships

“We hardly find time for each other and most of the time I actually don’t realise that there is someone staying in this house apart from me. We’re six months old in terms of our marriage but I’ve hardly got to know my husband well” says Andrea, wife of Jacob, who’s a stock market analyst.

Theirs was an early wedding with only a few months of dating, and both of them needed the time and the space to devote to their relationship. But because of the competition in their workplaces, survival of the fittest was vital.

Both partners had to earn to come to par with the high cost of living. This in turn affected their relationship.

Solutions of such problems lie only in the fact that couples must organize all their domestic affairs and spend time with each other, to understand and catch up on several issues.

Couples go to the extreme level of separation when the very foundation of a relationship, communication, takes a back seat. Couples debate for even the slightest of issues. “Why is the wet towel kept on the bed?” or “why is there a strand of hair on the file?!” can trigger a real conflict. But under such circumstances, a few words of genuine concern and care can heal the ripped and shattered heart.

Building compatibility in love

An understanding and caring individual should, by all means, try and keep their relationship from taking a bitter turn. Both partners must make sure they do things right, from the very beginning.

Honesty and integrity are very crucial for any relationship to last forever. A relationship like marriage would obviously face ups and downs, but the dynamics between you and your lover will change according to each other’s position in the relationship. Understanding and avoiding falling in love fast are the key words for love to bloom forever.

To express your love to someone is the most beautiful feeling in the whole world, but make sure you actually feel the love instead of just using empty words.

The whole essence of a special feeling like love lies in the compatibility of the partners. So make sure your loved one feels special and indulges in the perfect relationship with you. Many lovers have played the game of love, and now it’s your turn to play it right. Play the perfect game, build your compatibility in love and compliment your partner for the right move and make sure you play it perfectly too.

And if you ever find yourself at the crossroads again, decide together about your next move, and walk ahead hand in hand, for that’s the way you were always meant to be. Together… in love.

Compatibility in love is a simple idea. But one that takes time to build, and involves compromises from both partners. So if you want to improve compatibility in relationships with your loved one, take the first step. The rest will follow.

TOP 10 TIPS TO MAKE YOUR MAN COMMIT

At first, dating expert Rori Raye's ideas about how to get a man to commit seemed counter-intuitive: Don't be his girlfriend? Don't try to win him over? But then we realized this: Rori wants us to get a man to commit by being our most authentic selves, which, in turn, allows men to be their most authentic selves. And that makes a lot of sense.

These tips are only the beginning. If you want more of Rori's wisdom check out her blog and newsletter, Have The Relationship You Want, where she goes into much more detail.

1. Love him, but don't be his girlfriend. Being his girlfriend means being exclusive with out a "forever" promise. If you want to get married, don't be his girlfriend. A man might tell you that he needs time to decide if you're right for him, but according to Rori men know very soon whether or not you're the One.


2. Don't be exclusive until you're engaged. Once you've become exclusive and have your eye on marriage, a man can sense that you're thinking about the relationship, wondering where things are going, hoping he loves you as much as you love him—all of which are totally normal feelings, but they make men withdraw emotionally, says Rori. Not being exclusive gives you room to breath, relax and really figure out if this is the relationship for you, which allows him to fall for you without worrying that you're overly invested in him.

3. Date more than one man at once. The corollary to not being exclusive is dating more than one guy at a time. That way you can compare men to each other, you don't feel urgent about one particular man, and you're able to be open to new opportunities. Of course, if he's ready to commit and marry you then by all means, be exclusive—but not until he's ready to really commit.

4. Be able to receive love. If a man doesn’t think you're able to be loved, he won't be able to commit. You need to show him that you can handle his emotions and believe that he loves you.

5. Don't try to win him over. Don't make him dinner every night, clean his place for him and come over as soon as he says he has the flu. That will put you in the mother or friend category.

6. Tell him what you want. If you want to get engaged and he's stalling, tell him what you want. Be kind but direct. Keep it short and simple. And above all, be emotionally available to whatever his response it.

7. Tell him how you feel. This is different from the "Here's what I want" speech. Telling him how you feel means expressing yourself in a non-judgmental, open way. If a man is guessing at what you're feeling he won't be able to connect with you.

8. Be vulnerable. You may be a CEO or President or Chairman of the Board, but if a man can't see your vulnerable, authentic self he won't be able to be open with you, either. If you let him see your secret sensitive side he'll feel safe with you and will be able to let his guard down around you, too.

9. Be in touch with your feelings. In order to do all of the above you need to be in touch with your feelings so that you can choose how you react to your feelings instead of allowing your feelings to control your actions.

10. Allow him to be who he really is. A man wants to be with a woman with whom he cam be completely himself. That doesn't mean being a jerk or doing typical guy things—it means expressing his true feelings—his real self. And you help him do that by doing the same with him: be your real self, feel and express your real feelings, and your man will fall for you—forever.