Have you ever met someone and felt an instant connection? Some may call it love at first sight and others, they may call it lust at first sight.
Regardless, of what it may be called it happens. You see a hot guy and instantly your heart begins beating out of your chest.
Perhaps, you did not have time to chat it up with him. You do absolutely everything in your power to get this guy's number. Finally, you have it. He is handsome, intelligent and totally cool. You like talking to him.
Then it comes up, the thing you do not want to hear, "I am just coming out of a relationship." The dread begins to build up inside of you. He tells you he does not think he is ready for a relationship but would like to continue to talk to you.
Is there any way to tell if you are going to become the rebound girl? Whether he is coming out of a relationship that has spanned a few months or many years, there is no guarantee that he is over this woman. This may be the first time that they have broken up or the 30th time. When a man tells you that he is coming out of a relationship, you need to be very careful. There are two high level warning signs that you will be the rebound girl.
#1.) Is he always talking about or bashing his ex? This is a sign that he is still hurting and not at all over her. You can choose to be a shoulder to cry on, listen to his endless conversations about her and put up with the late night texts about how horrible he feels. This is a choice that you will have to make. Some men seem fine on the outside and then you begin talking to them on a more personal level and you realize that they are a complete mess. Could you handle getting to know someone while they are unable to give you the attention that you deserve?
#2.) Is he still in contact with his ex? Do they have a pattern of breaking up and getting back together? If you have heard from the people closest to him that they have broken up several times and gotten back together, proceed with extreme caution. Do not let your guard down. The chances are high that when things look bright again on the horizon, he will stop talking to you and they will get back together.
The more time that you spend with the person, the stronger your feelings will become. This is going to happen if you find that you have many things in common or perhaps a silent bond. You may find yourself comfortable and able to tell him anything. It is easier to let people closer to us when they are also vulnerable. Your feelings may deepen, even grow stronger by the day, until you no longer have control of them. If you are intimate this will make the feelings even stronger. You will find yourself wondering if it is truly you that he is thinking of? What should happen if she suddenly decides to pursue him again? Would he go back to her? If he goes back to her, how will you feel?
Girls, before you consider going for a guy that has just gotten out of a relationship, please think it through. These relationships do work on occasion but it may be a long hard road for you. It takes patience, understanding, strength and security. You have to decide if you can face having more questions than answers in your life. You have to decide if the action is worth the consequence?
