Do you end up arguing with your partner for the smallest of reasons? It may be no one’s fault or both your faults, but you really need to understand that an argument doesn’t make one of you win, but actually makes both of you lose in love. Find out what type of a fault picker you are and how to deal with arguments in love.
Click here to read the introduction: Are you a Fighter in Love?
THE TOUCHE MATE You are completely in control. Whoa! And you’re the one making your partner lose their cool (all the time) by hitting your mate’s exact nerve point. Brrr… and they enter into a shivering fit, a.k.a. Angry Mode. If your partner is not the shivering type, then they’re probably the ones that throw tantrums. Well, you know your partner best. So stay off the touché issues and stop trying to make them stay on guard each time they’re around you.
How to Deal with It
If you know what would put your partner on guard, then stay a mile away from their sensitive issues and refrain from using those tactics. It would slowly deteriorate your relationship if all you do is rant about their Irritable Bowel Syndrome. You love your partner, so why would you want to take them to a level of hurt and anger. Spidey taught you this one, with great power comes great responsibility. We’re teaching you this one, with great love comes great respect. So hold your breath the next time you decide to tug a sensitive chord.
THE DRIFTER
This one starts off with a waiting game. You’re waiting for your mate, who was supposed to be there a good hour ago. You think your mate doesn’t respect you and is taking you for granted. And in steps yourmate, late, flustered and in haste. Your partner smiles at you. You cold shoulder that. And hug comes on its way towards you. You sidestep it.
The conversation, we mean, the argument begins. You missed an appointment with your beautician or an hour out with your pals, or perhaps a movie.
The apologies come on its way. Your cold shoulder is way too cold for the apologies to penetrate through. And what happens next, we all know the story. Before any explanations come through, you start your lashing.
How to Deal with It
And before your mate could even rationalize, you’re all out with the words game. “You do this all the time…”, “I missed my appointment…” and more blah and then, blah again. And then, out of nowhere, your ride starts drifting. “You haven’t done the dishes…”, “You cheated on me three years ago…”, and more prehistoric blah and blah. And then, it goes on and on. You start from one topic and drift faster than Sean Boswell in Tokyo Drift. By the end of it all, you’re both sulking and huffy. And who won? Heck, does it even matter anymore. You hate each other. So why hit the drift in the first place?
THE MIND READER
We’re not bungling with soothsayers, we’re messing on the psycho turf here. Ever come home to say “Hi” to your matey-sweetie, and imagine a little roll of the eye? Or remember the last time you wanted to make a Chocolate Brule but ended up making a terrible inedible version of the Mississippi Mud Pie? Did you hear that snigger behind your back, or that “that’s gross” look on your sweetheart’s face? Before you feel all unappreciated and go on a rampage trying to knock your sweetheart’s face with a frying pan, hold your breath. Count to ten.
How to Deal with It
Hey, crap happens. And sometimes, you create it. If you find yourself getting all flustered up over a ‘roll of the eyes’, wait a minute before you pop that eye out. If you feel hurt by something that your mate’s done, just mention it right then. “You piece of excreta, you’re driving me nuckin’ futs!” is an absolute no no. Instead, a “Honey, did you just roll your eyes at me? Please don’t do that, it hurts me” is aww-so-chweet. And at times, you might just be imagining your mate’s making funny faces behind your back. So before you spin your head 360 degrees a la Evil Dead style, ask away.
All of us will invariably find ourselves in at least one of these types, and all of use these petty tactics to win an argument with our partner.
But really, if you can deal with arguments in a relationship and avoid the conflict in the first place, wouldn’t the world and your relationship be a better place to be in?
