If only it was that simple. If we knew that two, three even four months down the line, we would wake up and the pain would be over, then it would be so much easier to deal with the break up pain today.
It doesn't work like that though
There is no magic switch on a timer that switches off the break up pain on a set date.
It is true that it does get easier to deal with a break up over time for many people. That is good; they are handling their grief and working through it. But, what about the rest of us?
Some people cannot move on. For whatever reason they are stuck on the roller coaster of grieving for what has been and what they believe they can no longer have. They can believe:
They will never be happy again
They will be alone for the rest of their lives
They don't deserve to be happy
That their partner is to blame for how they feel
And, a whole range of negative thoughts. If this is you, then time needs a helping hand to work through those feelings. It is down to you to take action to help Time work its magic. Unfortunately, no one else can do it for you.
Of course, you must allow yourself to grieve for the break up. It is natural and healthy to mourn what has passed. It stops being healthy when you constantly replay events and are stuck in victim mode.
It is not easy to forgive your ex and move on, which is ultimately what you will have to do. You can start taking small steps and turning how you feel around. You still have your whole life ahead of you to live and you need to take steps to get back in control.
You can start the process of getting through a break up by accepting responsibility.
Accept your part of the relationship break up. It takes two to have a relationship and for the relationship to break down. It doesn't mean that you agree with your partner's actions, just that you acknowledge that you have also made some mistakes.
Accept that only you can control how you feel right now. Yes, you may be angry, down, depressed and hurt. You may not want to get out of bed in the mornings and face another day. But, only YOU can decide how you are going to act on those feelings.
Start by loving yourself and realising that you are so much more than one half of a past relationship.
Only you can decide to take the steps to help you in getting through a break up and moving on. Acceptance is the first step.
