There are basic things or qualities to look out for when searching for a marriage partner. Don’t just marry anybody you meet or claim you love. Most marriages fail today because the husband and wife rushed into the whole issue and later discovered they were not compatible in many areas. To have a happy marriage in future, there are certain things you have to start doing now. If you marry the right person you will have a totally stress free marriage .Don’t sit in your house and expect God to choose your partner for you. He will not because He knows that you might one day complain about the fact that you were not allowed to choose. In the Bible, Jacob wanted Rachel and was frustrated when they gave him Leah. He worked until he had Rachel, whom he loved. The bible says ‘’A prudent wife is from the lord” (Proverbs 19:14).but this prudent wife from the lord has to be found. The bible again says “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the lord. (Proverbs 18:22).A good wife has to be found. God is prepared to guide you in your search .He promised to do so. ‘I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you shall go: I will guide you with my eye.” (Psalms 32:8)To begin your search for a marriage partner, you have to first know yourself.
If you are going to look for a helper fit for you, then the first thing you think about is not what you want in a partner, but who you are and what you have to offer to the partner. Without knowledge of yourself, you will not know who is compatible to you. Do not just close your eyes and choose the wrong person and expect God to perform a miracle to make your relationship harmonious.It is important to know yourself spiritually, intellectually, sexually, physically, health wise, habits, and even your ancestral background.Below are some questions you should ask yourself.
Spiritual and intellectual background.
· Are you committed to the will of God without reservation?
· Have you made progress in your prayer life? Will you be able to help someone make rapid progress in prayer or are you still a baby Christian?
· Do you hate sin with your entire being? Have you been delivered from its dominion?
· What is the purpose of your life on earth? Will your husband or wife help you to accomplish it?
· What is your academic level through formal education and informal education? What intellectual level should your partner have that would best blend with yours? etc
Physical, sexual and emotional background.
· Are you tall or short, fat or slim? do you have the capacity of becoming fat? If yes, can you be disciplined with food?
· What type of people of the opposite sex are you pleased with? the short, tall, slim, light or dark in complexion? etc.
· Are you hot or cold sexually?, are you easily or not easily aroused sexually?
· Are you easily attracted to the opposite sex you come in contact with or do you easily establish a relationship ,break it ,forget about it and establish another?.
· Emotionally, ask yourself if you are an extrovert or an introvert? Do you make friends easily or are you generally suspicious of people and slow to trust them?
· Do you easily recover when hurt or you worry over it for a long time? Do little things bother you ?.
Habits and health conditions.
·Are you an orderly and neat person or a disorderly and dirty person? Do you prefer to be quiet or do you like noise?
· Do you easily adjust to new situations, places, people and even ideas or not?.
· Do you complain a lot or do you easily laugh at silly things and refuse to let them weigh you down?.
· Are you healthy or frequently sick?
Do you have a body odor?, any serious handicap? .How do you behave when you or someone is sick? do you need attention? do you sympathize with the sick, listen to them and help them?
· Do you come from a broken or healthy home?
· What was the relationship between your parents like? Lovely, friendly?
· What are the main character traits of your family members and the ancestors? Were they generous or stingy?, moral or immoral?. Did they have any fear for God? .How did they treat their wives, husband and children?
· Were they hardworking or lazy?
· What type of environment did you grow up in? In wealth or poverty?
There are many more questions you can ask yourself .When you have answered these questions honestly and clearly, you will have a clear idea of who you are and what to search for in a partner. It is important to face these aspects and not to ignore them under the context that one is in love. If you don’t know yourself, you will not know what you want in a partner and when you meet the right person you will not know because you don’t have any focus.
Now that you know yourself, you should go ahead to find out which person of the opposite sex is compatible to you spiritually, intellectually, sexually, physically etc.