Each one of us has its own relationship problems. Here are some of the myths I found and the truth about it.If I can just change my partner’s behavior, things will be better.
Reality: Famous last words! YOU can’t change other people. They need to evolve on their own path at their own pace. Besides, you are always dating yourself anyway! In truth, your partner is solely—souly—a liberating mirror reflection of your own consciousness. You must change your inside world for the outside world to improve. You are always meeting yourself in others. If you’re not happy with the type of person you are attracting, take a look at the type of person you are.
I want my partner to be happy always.
Reality: Being balanced is an inside job. Fuse the forces of your feminine and masculine energies to tap your full potential. Cultivate playfulness, laughter and self-revealing humor. Invite serendipity and surprise to reveal your other side. Welcome the unexpected and spontaneous from yourself! Negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are necessary for two people to have a successful partnership.
Reality: Being balanced is an inside job. Fuse the forces of your feminine and masculine energies to tap your full potential. Cultivate playfulness, laughter and self-revealing humor. Invite serendipity and surprise to reveal your other side. Welcome the unexpected and spontaneous from yourself! Negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are necessary for two people to have a successful partnership.
I have to give up my personal freedom to be in a committed relationship. Love = Ball & Chain.
Reality: Real love and freedom go hand in hand. In a soulmate connection based on the optimal spiritual evolution of each party, you can maintain personal freedom while opening to profound intimacy. Give your commitment and trust to the spirit, rather than the form, of the relationship. Sometimes lack of communication is the culprit, if you view a partnership as bondage. Identify the amount of space you need to be happy in a relationship and learn how to communicate your desire to your partner.
Relationships take time, effort and energy.
Reality: The only effort involved is keeping love away. We spend countless hours successfully dodging love at every point of contact in our lives. Every encounter with another human being is an opportunity to receive love—in the form of kindness, generosity, a warm handshake or a shared laugh. Right relationships give you energy. Lousy relationships drain your energy.
If I open my heart, my partner can hurt my feelings. Love = Pain.
Reality: Other people cannot hurt our feelings; they can only trigger feelings that are already hurt within us. The hurt feelings are already present in our consciousness—in our past, our personality. In truth, your partner is doing you a big favor by bringing up a wound, a sore spot, within a loving context—for the purpose of healing and releasing it. It’s not possible to avoid hurt feelings in life or a relationship. But you can use the support of real love to move the hurt feelings up and out.
Another person can “fill the hole” we feel inside.
Reality: Temporarily at best! Only you can permanently “fulfill the whole” within yourself. Helpfully, for a while, a partner can remind you of what it feels like to feel loved and whole. Then if you surf that wave of connection, you can arrive at the shore of lasting self-love.
It’s best to hide your Shadow from the other person.
Reality: It’s best to reveal your weaknesses and faults as soon as possible. It’s not called “in-to-me-see” for nothing. There’s no way to get close to someone and not have your whole self eventually revealed. Learn to dance with your Dark Side. Learn to love everything about your unique self—the whole enchilada, warts and all. They knew that acknowledging the truth of our shortcomings gives us strength. Full self-acceptance is our greatest asset.
If I just loose weight, I’ll attract the lover of my dreams.
Reality: weight has nothing to do with exercise, genes, diet or how much we eat. Maintaining our perfect body weight is a direct function of the free flow of love in our lives. Weight has everything to do with our beliefs about exercise, genes, diet or how much we eat. And the nurturing quality of our beliefs about exercise, genes, diet or how much we should eat are a direct result of our willingness to have love flow freely in our lives.
I’m afraid of rejection or abandonment.
Reality: Spread the heartening news: We cannot be rejected by another person unless we have rejected ourselves first. We leave love—love never leaves us. This is a good thing. It means we are in the driver’s seat. It means we can open—and keep open—the door to love anytime we choose. Find a way to move into more self-acceptance and your days of rejection and abandonment are history.
Relationships are made on Earth.
Reality: Relationship are made in Heaven. Embrace love for what it truly is: a mystical sacrament and a sensual communion. Align your description of your Earthly Dream Partner with the design of your soulmate agreement, and you will find your Heavenly babe TODAY!
I need to marry—or get a formal commitment—from my partner to keep them around.
Reality: “Things which go together naturally need not be tied.” -Lao Tzu,
You can borrow good qualities from your “better half.”
Reality: You can for a while. But you need to quickly become—rather than borrow—those good qualities. Otherwise, you’re dependent on the other person for the better qualities. Enjoy intimacy as a mutual exchange of energy between interdependent equals. Address your flaws, and become the type of person you’d like to date. The Law of Attraction rules in seeking a partner. Like vibration attracts like vibration. If you possess the qualities that you want in a partner, the law of attraction will work for you.
