There are some girls out there who are really naïve when it comes to dating guys. Or at least they act that way and maybe they do really know what’s going on and simply don’t care. There are others, like myself, who once were naïve and now can spot a player from 100 miles away.It is possible for guys to have you completely fooled before you go home with them. In fact, this is lots of guy’s ultimate goal of 'dating'. There are some guys out there who give up after they realize that you’re not cheap and looking for a one-night-stand (these ones don’t bother me – I simply ignore them!), but there are others who will prolong things just until they’ve reached their conquest. It’s sick, I don’t know why guys do it, but some of them do. In my opinion, it has to be part of some psychological disorder.
Hopefully, you’re able to pick out guys who are only interested in you for one evening and steer clear away from them (if you want to, I guess ;). This article covers how to detect guys that are interested in you for an evening or two, but will go to extremes to get there through dating. It becomes a game for them and nothing more, leaving you completely confused, not to mention feeling used.I’ve had my heart broken twice, once because of the guy that I will talk about below and one other time from another man that I’m still not ready to talk about as it was more recent.My Story
I once dated this guy that at the very moment we met, we were instantly attracted to one another. He would come over and make small talk and flirt. He eventually asked me out and he soon found out that I’m not easy. Naturally, I wondered if he was a player after the first date, but I gave him another chance. After all, he was absolutely gorgeous. So, we spent a month of casual dating. Eating out, movies, typical classic dates. During this time period, part of me wondered what his motives were but all I could think of was that he is really going to a lot of trouble…it’s not like he’s ugly and he would have problems bringing easy girls home! I got to know him really well, knew all about his family, his job, his studies in college, his aspirations, etc. He also got to know me really well, too. He treated me respectfully throughout that time, there was no pressure. I enjoyed every moment I spent with him. Finally, I decided that I would go over to his apartment.
It is possible for guys to have you completely fooled before you go home with them. In fact, this is lots of guy’s ultimate goal of 'dating'. There are some guys out there who give up after they realize that you’re not cheap and looking for a one-night-stand (these ones don’t bother me – I simply ignore them!), but there are others who will prolong things just until they’ve reached their conquest. It’s sick, I don’t know why guys do it, but some of them do. In my opinion, it has to be part of some psychological disorder.
Hopefully, you’re able to pick out guys who are only interested in you for one evening and steer clear away from them (if you want to, I guess ;). This article covers how to detect guys that are interested in you for an evening or two, but will go to extremes to get there through dating. It becomes a game for them and nothing more, leaving you completely confused, not to mention feeling used.
I’ve had my heart broken twice, once because of the guy that I will talk about below and one other time from another man that I’m still not ready to talk about as it was more recent.
My Story
I once dated this guy that at the very moment we met, we were instantly attracted to one another. He would come over and make small talk and flirt. He eventually asked me out and he soon found out that I’m not easy. Naturally, I wondered if he was a player after the first date, but I gave him another chance. After all, he was absolutely gorgeous. So, we spent a month of casual dating. Eating out, movies, typical classic dates. During this time period, part of me wondered what his motives were but all I could think of was that he is really going to a lot of trouble…it’s not like he’s ugly and he would have problems bringing easy girls home! I got to know him really well, knew all about his family, his job, his studies in college, his aspirations, etc. He also got to know me really well, too. He treated me respectfully throughout that time, there was no pressure. I enjoyed every moment I spent with him. Finally, I decided that I would go over to his apartment.
That Night...
Upon arrival that evening, I was shocked to find out these things:
- He had copies of Maxim in his bathroom…and his bedroom and his living room. He didn’t even think to put them away. They were in plain sight!
- He was…uh, methodical in the bedroom. He acted like he had achieved the perfect formula, but it certainly wasn’t the case!
- He had several types of condoms available in his bedside table.
At this point, because of our past month of dating, I had feelings for him. I realized at that point my original gut instinct about him had been correct, but I wasn’t really able to do anything about it.
The Morning After
The next morning, he took me out to breakfast. I breathed a sigh of relief and thought, everything is o.k! Maybe he has been a player in the past, but he met me and likes me and this could work out really well. After breakfast, we said our goodbyes, just like we had at the end of every date and kissed with discussion for our next date for Friday night.
I never heard from him again.
The Realization That He's A Player
Two weeks later, I mentioned him to one of my friends that went to his college. She said that he was a huge player and that she was shocked that he had dated me for that long. She showed me his facebook (he had always said he didn’t use one because of his job) and there were tons of pictures of him with different girls. Lots of ugly, cheap, girls. I almost cried. My original instinct had been correct, and I was so mad at myself. Yes, he was attractive but he didn’t even care what they looked like – he was just that awful of a player!
Signs He's A Player!
Below are some of the signs that I should have realized screamed: “he’s a player!” while we were casually dating:
- He always said how I was out of his league. Even when I was dating him, I arrogantly thought he was right about that; we came from different worlds. But, I didn’t care because I really liked him; he was fun and made me laugh. Turns out, I was just the ultimate conquest to him – he wanted to spend the night with someone who was out of his league – that was his true intention and he spent an entire month on working to accomplish this.
- Most of his friends were players, but he claimed that he thought their behavior was absolutely despicable and he could never do that to anyone. You know what? At least his friends did it with girls who were naive enough to go home with them at the end of a first date. One-night stand etiquette doesn’t require a phone call.
- He constantly tried to impress me and constantly fished for compliments, usually regarding his body, such as “I work out a lot…but I feel like I’m totally out of shape.” He knew that he was in great shape and just wanted me to notice.
- One time when we were out, he saw a girl and accidentally slipped out: “I tried to sleep with her once.” I was like “what?” and he just laughed it off and said he was really drunk at a party.
My Lesson Learned
It honestly makes me sick to even think about it, but there are some guys out there who will do this to girls. While I never loved this guy, I still had my heart broken that someone could trick me like this; someone that I had really started to trust! But, ultimately it’s an experience that makes me stronger and savvier for future dating. So, all is not lost!
