LOVE'S MORE COMPLICATED THE SECOND TIME AROUND
Love's more complicated the second time around
Drs. Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz
We know how important it is to rebound in a timely manner from a failed relationship. Of the thousands of couples we have interviewed over the past 27 years on six continents, many of them were remarried after suffering through a relationship that didn't work. And irrespective of the reason, there is a "pace" to take when building a love that lasts.
Here is the truth - new love is best not rushed! When you fall in love again, you must understand that your new lover enters the relationship with various levels of insecurity based on your OLD relationship. If your divorce is not yet finalized, he is a skeptic. Does she really love me? Am I the man of her dreams? Will her divorce really become final or will I be left "holding the bag?"
The simple truth is - love is complicated the second time around!
Consider this - two-thirds of second marriages end in divorce! It should come as no surprise that there are skeptics out there when it comes to finding love the second time around.
Here is where the rubber hits the road - falling in love again is easy, but getting a commitment for the rest of your life is not. Our suggestion to you is this - never, ever, assume that your new love is willing to commit to you for the rest of your life in the absence of a bonifide divorce. One chapter in life must end before another one can begin!
People get remarried all the time. And, for the most part, and for some very good reasons, true love trumps everything. Love is the elixir of life. To love and to be in love is amongst the greatest triumphs of humanity. To spend your life on planet Earth is a great privilege. But to do your best to make great love your reason for being on Earth is, well, the principle reason humans strive to achieve the pinnacle of love.
In the beginning, great love is best not rushed. Finding new love requires patience. Finding new love requires you to understand that getting in a hurry in your new romance runs the risk of running away the person you truly love. Don't take the risk.
Simple things matter in love and marriage. Love well!
