Conflict and stress are part of most love relationships. These reasons couples break up and relationships fail can help you heal and learn to love again.
These tips will help couples build long-term love, and help broken hearts heal after a relationship breakup.
Why Do Couples Break Up? 10 Common Reasons Relationships Fail
1. Failing to keep promises, lying, or cheating. These blatant violations of trust often result in failed relationships. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, the problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Partners in healthy relationships agree to reconcile their differences – and if they keep their promises, the relationship can stay strong. However, consistent lying, cheating, or breaking of promises can explain why relationships end.
2. Imbalance of power. A common reason couples break up is when one partner has more decision-making power than the other. When one person usually makes the decisions about activities, friends, financial matters, household matters, holidays, and so on, the relationship can become unstable. If a sense of equality doesn’t exist, a failed relationship could be the result.
3. Acceptance of stereotypes. Mistaken gender myths include beliefs such as “Men like sex more than women” or “Women are passive” or “Men make more money than women.” If one partner believes these stereotypes, false expectations are created – resulting in higher chances of a failed relationship. An equal balance of power can save your marriage.
4. Isolation. A common reason couples break up is isolation from friends and family when the couple first gets together. Intimate love relationships based on fear and insecurity (which is why couples isolate themselves) aren’t stable, and exacerbate other problems – which can lead to a relationship breakup.
5. Lack of self-knowledge. If one or both partners aren’t in tune with their interests, needs, desires, future plans, goals, values, sexual attitudes, and preferences – then it’s difficult for them to engage in a healthy relationship. Self-knowledge helps partners communicate who they are and what they want – which can prevent the breakup of a romantic relationship. This can be a reason why couples break up, especially if they got together when they were young.
6. Low self-esteem, insecurity, and lack of self-confidence. A common reason couples break up is because one partner feels unworthy of being loved. This insecurity can lead to possessiveness and overdependence, which isn’t healthy for a love relationship. Building self-esteem and self-confidence is one way to avoid relationship failure (but each partner must do this for him or herself).
7. Excessive jealousy. “Jealousy is cited as one of the most frequent causes of the breakup of romantic relationships,” writers Roger Hock in Human Sexuality. Delusional jealousy can trigger abuse and violence, which can (and should) be why relationships end. Delusional jealousy isn’t a common problem couples face – but normal jealousy can be.
8. Ineffective communication. If both partners can’t share their thoughts, feelings, opinions, values, needs, frustrations, or even their joys, a failed relationship could result. If this was the cause of a breakup, then learning to love again could involve learning how to communicate effectively. This is a common reason for breaking up.
9. Control issues. If one partner is trying to control or manipulate the other, the love relationship can become weak – or even dangerous. This reason why relationships end may be seen in different ways, such as checking up on the partner, name-calling, threatening the partner, requiring the partner check in all the time, or not allowing any deviations from the partner’s schedule. This isn’t loving behavior, and it results in failed relationships.
10. Abuse. This is the most obvious, surefire way to reason why couples break up. Different types of abuse are attempts to gain total control over a partner. Though relationships like this should end immediately, many partners stay for various complicated reasons. Learning to love and trust again can be difficult if this is the reason the relationship ended.
Conflict and stress are part of most marriages and love relationships – but being aware of the common reasons couples break up can help them work towards a healthy love relationship.
