6 Ways To Know:
1) Looking to interpret body language, that someone could lie, and not to eye contact when speaking, you are anxious, nervous or act or make uncomfortable.
2) Note that if the person refuses to answer questions with perseverance. Defensive extremely mean he or she may try to hide something.
3) See if someone accused you lying or misleading if they do not. This could be a sign the other person’s own behavior underlying that he or she is projected to take you instead.
4) Listen to your instincts and intuition. You just know that someone is lying. If you are unsure, do not jump to conclusions. Try evidence to support their intuition.
5) Do not forget to ask directly if the person has lied. Many people feel hard to find, caught in a lie and is a relief to finally be honest.
6) To lie Try to understand and listen to the reasons for the person. Was he/she not trying to hurt you? Feared she/he would be angry, frustrated or disappointed?
WHY DO MEN FLIRT
It happened all innocently enough. I was going to log in on Facebook when I saw my boyfriend's login come up. Well since he did not log out what is the harm in taking a sneak peek? Looking around I found a few disturbing things. Number one, he listed his interests as women, number two he has mostly women as his Facebook friends. is he trying to start a harem here? Number three he was flirting with these women! He was leaving messages for women say that they looked really good. Blah! I nearly choked on my drink. This is my honey? My sweetie who was saying complimentary things to other women? Gnawing at the bit I confronted him. Summoning all my powers of PMS I calmly and rationally explained to him why this is not good. and how it made me feel and why it is hurtful to our relationship. OK so explained the last few things to the wall because he left the room mumbling something like "This is what you get for snooping around."..true... but it doesn't answer my question. What does he get out of it? What is he after? Why do men flirt?
I realize I am not the first to ask this question. Many women before me have asked and asked. My most educated guess in the reason that men flirts is because they have a need for attention from women. Is his ego that big? I had not thought, but maybe I need to take a closer look. After reviewing his facebook profile it would seem he invited other women to be his friends.
How do I ascertain this?
1) He put women down as an interest, and
2) he took off his shirt when he posed for the picture so every one could see his his tattoo. Well he said everyone but now I know that the Women can see his tattoo. He initiated a lot of the contacts too of course. Most of the contacts were light hearted just asking to play those silly time wasting games. But a couple were out and out flirtatious comments. They didn't really answer back. Maybe just a thank you.. What was he hoping for?
Theories on Why Men Flirt
There are two types of flirting, Intentional and unintentional. An Unintentional flirt is when you might inadvertently catch a glimpse of someone's eye and give a quick smile. an intentional flirt is usually verbal.
Flirting to some can be a game and an acceptable social outlet.
Flirting also can open a door to maybes.
Flirting can make suggestions and one thing then can lead to another.
Does a man know when to not cross the line? Does my man know? Has he crossed the line? Would he act on his flirtation?
Maybe he likes the idea of someone else being attracted to him. Maybe he just keeps it friendly so he can still feed his "manly" self esteem. Is flirting a part of him that he would be miserable with if he were asked to suppress the urge? can I live with him flirting with other women in cyberspace or in life?
Is her flirting because he is unhappy in his relationship with me? Am I not fulfilling some obvious need?
Or does he feel the need to get one over on his lady? What she doesn't know won't hurt her? Until he's caught at least. I can relate to the "get one over theory" as I write this hub about his actions unbeknown-st to him. Most likely he will never know because he is too involved in his facebook life.
My final theory on why men flirt is that they want what they can't have. Men just put it all out there with little regard to how it looks to others. They make an obvious attempt to gain the attention of an attractive lady. Sometimes it works, Sometimes it doesn't.
Flirting Facts
There are studies that support flirting is healthy for you. Studies have found people who flirt have a higher white blood count that boost immunity and your health. There are as many as 52 flirting signals you can give each other. It is not longer just a bat of the eye. If you were to place two people of a different culture in the same room who were attracted to each other both would use the same signals including arching the eyes, and smiling. The hair flip is the number one flirtation signal. Some people have noted while flirting you have nearly 30 seconds to make some kind of connection. Technology has advanced our methods of flirting.. 40 % of people who say they are looking for love on line flirt with people via email or IM. Interestingly enough this is most successful for the man as it gives him time to think before he acts. He has to actively think about what he is writing. Many people send suggestive text messages or picture mail via their cell phone. Despite our advances, Flirting is illegal in Little Rock Arkansas One can be locked up for thirty days. In New York a man can be fined 25.00 for looking suggestively at a female.
Flirting while intentional or unintentional does not have to be the end of a relationship. It is somewhat human nature to flirt with someone you are attracted to and who you have interaction with. Men will flirt that is a fact.What about my boyfriend? Well, time will truley tell. Only the good ones will know where to draw the line.
Laws of Attraction
I happened to get home form work early today and I was able to watch a little bit of Oprah. Today Oprah had a guest commentator discussing the physical laws of attractiveness. What is attractive? This lady...
The Men's Survival Guide to PMS
This hub is dedicated to the guys who put up with us gals. Every now and again women experience an excess of hormones causing us great stress and anxiety. We are flooded with emotions and we forget sometimes...
Why Women put up with Men
This hub is dedicated to my friend who recently went through a break up. My friend Rachel just broke up with her boyfriend. Her reaction was not hurt or upset but mostly matter of fact. Her tone was even...
I realize I am not the first to ask this question. Many women before me have asked and asked. My most educated guess in the reason that men flirts is because they have a need for attention from women. Is his ego that big? I had not thought, but maybe I need to take a closer look. After reviewing his facebook profile it would seem he invited other women to be his friends.
How do I ascertain this?
1) He put women down as an interest, and
2) he took off his shirt when he posed for the picture so every one could see his his tattoo. Well he said everyone but now I know that the Women can see his tattoo. He initiated a lot of the contacts too of course. Most of the contacts were light hearted just asking to play those silly time wasting games. But a couple were out and out flirtatious comments. They didn't really answer back. Maybe just a thank you.. What was he hoping for?
Theories on Why Men Flirt
 |
| COMPUTER FLIRT |
Flirting to some can be a game and an acceptable social outlet.
Flirting also can open a door to maybes.
Flirting can make suggestions and one thing then can lead to another.
Does a man know when to not cross the line? Does my man know? Has he crossed the line? Would he act on his flirtation?
Maybe he likes the idea of someone else being attracted to him. Maybe he just keeps it friendly so he can still feed his "manly" self esteem. Is flirting a part of him that he would be miserable with if he were asked to suppress the urge? can I live with him flirting with other women in cyberspace or in life?
Is her flirting because he is unhappy in his relationship with me? Am I not fulfilling some obvious need?
Or does he feel the need to get one over on his lady? What she doesn't know won't hurt her? Until he's caught at least. I can relate to the "get one over theory" as I write this hub about his actions unbeknown-st to him. Most likely he will never know because he is too involved in his facebook life.
My final theory on why men flirt is that they want what they can't have. Men just put it all out there with little regard to how it looks to others. They make an obvious attempt to gain the attention of an attractive lady. Sometimes it works, Sometimes it doesn't.
Flirting Facts
There are studies that support flirting is healthy for you. Studies have found people who flirt have a higher white blood count that boost immunity and your health. There are as many as 52 flirting signals you can give each other. It is not longer just a bat of the eye. If you were to place two people of a different culture in the same room who were attracted to each other both would use the same signals including arching the eyes, and smiling. The hair flip is the number one flirtation signal. Some people have noted while flirting you have nearly 30 seconds to make some kind of connection. Technology has advanced our methods of flirting.. 40 % of people who say they are looking for love on line flirt with people via email or IM. Interestingly enough this is most successful for the man as it gives him time to think before he acts. He has to actively think about what he is writing. Many people send suggestive text messages or picture mail via their cell phone. Despite our advances, Flirting is illegal in Little Rock Arkansas One can be locked up for thirty days. In New York a man can be fined 25.00 for looking suggestively at a female.Flirting while intentional or unintentional does not have to be the end of a relationship. It is somewhat human nature to flirt with someone you are attracted to and who you have interaction with. Men will flirt that is a fact.What about my boyfriend? Well, time will truley tell. Only the good ones will know where to draw the line.
Laws of Attraction
I happened to get home form work early today and I was able to watch a little bit of Oprah. Today Oprah had a guest commentator discussing the physical laws of attractiveness. What is attractive? This lady...
The Men's Survival Guide to PMS
This hub is dedicated to the guys who put up with us gals. Every now and again women experience an excess of hormones causing us great stress and anxiety. We are flooded with emotions and we forget sometimes...
Why Women put up with Men
This hub is dedicated to my friend who recently went through a break up. My friend Rachel just broke up with her boyfriend. Her reaction was not hurt or upset but mostly matter of fact. Her tone was even...
TOP 10 REASONS WHY MEN TAKE FOR GRANTED THEIR NICE GIRLFRIEND
Here are just 10 ways you may be acting like your own worst enemy:
1. You are needy and desperate and lonely and as a result jump into bed or fall in love quickly (and hard) without doing a proper assessment of the people you get involved with.
2. You rearrange your plans around him/her and most of all leave all decisions up to him/her. Basically you wait on him/her hand and foot.
3. You walk around on eggshells fearing that you might say or do something to upset him/her and cause him/her to stop liking you.
4. You are easily intimidated when you try to voice your feelings because you feel that you have nothing special or important to offer a man/woman. You always feel insecure.
5. You deliberately withhold personal information, thoughts and feelings for fear that he/she will either belittle you or reject you. You never get close.
6. You worry so much (worry about what the other person said, worry about what they meant by it, worry about how you reacted etc) that your worry creates a sense of helplessness and powerlessness.
7. You exaggerate your own faults so as to make the other person feel good about him/herself. The problem is he/she actually starts believing he/she is better than you.
8. You give of this facade of everything is great and I'm happy but you're not. The cost of pretending is not having a voice.
9. You privately harbour a great deal of anger that you react to situation as if you've been attacked thereby creating constant drama and distance in your relationships.
10. You are so afraid of taking risks, making decisions or making a mistake that you sub-consciously seek out people who control and dominate you and tell you what to do.
Knowing how you let yourself be walked on and treated as if you are dispensable and in some instances even interchangeable is important but the real issue is: what are you going to do with this information? Are you going to quickly build defenses and illusions about your situation or are you going to begin to do some repair work on the structure inside? That is what needs work.
It helps to relate with men/women on a whole new level where you feel valued. You'll not only increase the your attractiveness to the opposite sex -you'll gain men/women's respect with far less effort.
The Worst Ways to Break Up Relationships
This abandonment from the guys is the worst way of breaking up because some girls may delay starting a new relationship because of unresolved issues with wanting to know if the guy will call or not. When the boyfriend uses the lack of communication and just ends the relationship by walking away, the girlfriend who could be optimistic delays beginning new relationship because there has been no closure to the previous relationship.
Girls have to be communicated with face to face when the relationship has ended. Guys however would have moved on while the girl waits for a cell phone pick up Guys have to realize that the proper way to break up a relationship is to call and just tell the girl that it is over. One of the worst ways of breaking up a relationship is to abandon it altogether without communicating to the other partner what is going on and the reason for the break up.
Another worst way to break up a relationship is to use the coldness of technology and email or text the girlfriend or the boyfriend instead of having that face to face talk. Technology and communication is great if in e commerce and wants to reach millions of customers all over the world. But if the call is to break up a relationship, the channel of communication got to be face to face or the break up would be as Kanye West sings "Heartless." Direct face to face communication is the only way to soften the heartbreak of receiving information that a relationship has ended. Using technology such as email or cell phone texting does not ease the disappointment of failed relationships and is another worst way to end relationships.
The feelings of relationship rejection can be overwhelming as it is but to read the text that used to be so welcoming but is now stoic and cold in its message is one of the worst ways to end a relationship. Girls may promptly delete the text from the cell phone or the computer of the break up but feelings of disappointment are not so easily dealt with. The worst way that a guy can break up with a girl or vice versus is to use electronic devices for such a personal call upon an issue that can be heartbreaking and not easily dealt with upon receipt.
The worst way to break up a relationship is for the boyfriend not to man up to the ending of the relationship and start a rumour mill with friends, and family members that the relationship is over. Everyone has that one person in the family or their personal associations who if you tell something to once it will be all over town within minutes. Guys know how to use the rumor mill to get things started and so however he decide to break off with the girl, she would have had expected it but not directly from the boyfriend.
Telling a best friend that the relationship is over is another indication of a worst way scenario of breaking up relationships. The boyfriend may wonder why the girlfriend's best friend is suddenly coming on to him in a more non platonic way and it may be that her friend told her that the relationship is breaking up. Because girls practically tell everything to their best friends, they are the first to know before the boyfriend gets the news and some b*****h get the word and starts to creep in on the boyfriend's territory.
Indirect ways of telling the boyfriend or girlfriend that the relationship is over or is breaking up are worst ways of ending relationships. If there is no face to face communication while breaking up a relationship then more likely than one of the worst ways to end a relationship is playing out for the sometimes unsuspecting partner. The boyfriend or the girlfriend should not abandon the relationship without a word between the two and should not use electronic devices to break up the relationship. The boyfriend or the girlfriend should not tell their best friends of the pending break up or start a rumor mill so that the break up would have supposedly been easier. The best way to break up relationships is to use integrity and honestly tell the other partner suspecting or unsuspecting that the relationship is over.
PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON LOVESTORY
Looking every bit the future princess, Kate Middleton dished on how Prince William popped the question during a photo call and on Tuesday.
"It was very romantic," she said of the proposal, which occurred while the couple were vacationing in Kenya in October, "and very personal to Africa."
Though she demurred from providing more details, Middleton, 28, happily answered questions about her transition from William's girlfriend to future royal.
"It's quite a daunting prospect, but hopefully I'll take it in my stride," she said. "William's a great teacher, so he'll be up to help me … I really look forward to it, and look forward to spending my time with William."
Asked why he decided to propose now after eight years of dating, William, admitting he was bad at measuring just how long they'd been going out together, said, "The timing is right now. We're both very happy, and I'm very glad that I have done it."
Though no official wedding date has been set, the couple are expected to wed in London in the summer of April 24, 2011.
Mending a broken heart
So many relationships end with a broken heart. Many times only one person wanted out of the relationship and that leaves the other person wounded with a broken heart. When a relationship ends it takes a toll on the self-esteem and it may take many months if not years to recover.
There are 3 steps to mending a broken heart.
There are 3 steps to mending a broken heart.
1. Forgiveness. Forgive yourself for all the wrong that you feel you did during the relationship and then forgive the other person for any wrong you feel they did. Forgive and go free.
2. Self-esteem rebuilding. Work on rebuilding your self-esteem. We have some great articles on self-esteem and how to rebuild it.
3. Aloneness. Be alone and feel the loneliness. Give yourself some healing time and work on mending your broken heart one step at a time. You will mend over time and you will find love again. Be patient with yourself. The more you work at forgiveness and you learn how to move forward the heart will mend and become open again.
You think your relationship might be over. Your pain is unbearable. You feel so lost, alone and confused that sometimes you feel like crawling in a hole and dying. You just want somebody or something to stop the pain so you can feel normal again.
Because of all that's happened, you probably have a million thoughts going through your head right now.
You might be...
~ Wondering when the pain is ever going to stop
~ Trying to figure out what in the world just happened
Because of all that's happened, you probably have a million thoughts going through your head right now.
You might be...
~ Wondering when the pain is ever going to stop
~ Trying to figure out what in the world just happened
~ Having trouble sleeping at night because of your "what if's"
~ Finding it hard to drag yourself out of bed in the morning
~ Trying to let go of your love but you still can't think of anything else
~ Trying to stop crying but the tears just keep coming--and at the worst possible times
~ Finding it hard to drag yourself out of bed in the morning
~ Trying to let go of your love but you still can't think of anything else
~ Trying to stop crying but the tears just keep coming--and at the worst possible times
~ Feeling "numb" as you go through your day and try to appear "normal"
~ Finding it hard to focus on anything, especially work
~ Wondering if your time with your partner was a total waste of time
~ Just trying to make it through the day without bursting into tears and breaking down--but you do it anyway
~ Wondering if your time with your partner was a total waste of time
~ Just trying to make it through the day without bursting into tears and breaking down--but you do it anyway
~ Thinking you're a total failure at love and you'll never have the kind of relationship you want
~ Not wanting to go home knowing that your partner won't be there and you'll be alone
And what you're really thinking is that this is all some sort of bad dream that you're going to wake up from any moment now and everything will be back to normal.
And what you're really thinking is that this is all some sort of bad dream that you're going to wake up from any moment now and everything will be back to normal.
If ANY of those thoughts and feelings are familiar to you, you're not alone.
6 signs he's a player
Before we get into the how of spotting a player, let's first discuss what one is. In the simplest terms possible, I find good synonyms to be schmuck, loser and jerk. You may have your own favorite jargon, of course, but the man himself is always the same. His primary goal in life is gaining attention, as this fills the void his poor little heart can't fill from within. He moves from one woman to the next, often so smoothly that said women never see the move coming -- and he does so because he can't commit to anyone in particular, lest he be forced to stand still long enough to get a look at himself in the mirror.
Being in my line of work, I've met a lot of players over the years. More than a lot, really. They come in all shapes and sizes, some of them slimier than others, but they've all got several characteristics in common. Some will have more, some will have less, but if the man you're dating has several of these in one go, you could well be dating a player.
1. He expressly denies being one.
In my experience, the men who come straight out (unprovoked) and proclaim that they aren't players, tend to be precisely that. He will announce this the first time he screws up, or senses that you're leery about him. And he's operating on reflex. You see, he's so used to being accused of being one, that he instinctively plays offense from the start, in the hope you might be gullible enough to believe what you hear, rather than what you see.
2. He's too smooth.
Does he have an answer for everything? A really good answer for everything? I'm not surprised. as it comes from years of practice. He's made all the big mistakes and has plenty of experience with smoothing things over. He knows what you want to hear, because he's learned well from his previous enablers. Don't add yourself to the list.
3. He's always slightly aloof.
He pays just enough attention to make you crave more, but little enough to make you wonder how interested he really is. This ploy is designed to make you want more -- which is what most of you end up doing -- and some of you will go out of your way to get his attention via methods you wouldn't normally lower yourself to. That's exactly what he wants; you crawling on your knees for his attention.
4. He's fantastic in bed.
These guys are so good in bed that many women will overlook the crap he pulls, just to get the chance to play house with him. Not every man who is good in bed is a player, obviously, but if he is, and if he's also got any of the previous traits, he's probably a player. Unfortunately, this trait is desirable enough that many women are willing to overlook the other traits, if only for a period of time.
5. His communication skills suck.
Unless there's a very good reason, if a man doesn't answer your text/email/phone call within 24 hours, he's playing a game. And the men who deny the truth of that statement by claiming that some men are just too busy...? They're full of shite. If you really like someone, you can find a minute to at least text them. No one is that busy! If your man does this on a regular basis, he's playing games.
6. He makes you feel like you're overreacting when you're not.
Let me give you an example: He promises to call you at 8pm, but doesn't contact you until the next day. Why? Because he decided that pizza with his mates would be more fun. When asked why he couldn't be bothered to let you know, to send you a text at least, he replies by making you feel like you're being clingy or too demanding. This guy is a tosser!
10 ways to make a man feel bad about himself
There are things that a woman can do to shame her man or make him feel bad about himself. Men, even though they may not openly show it, are vulnerable and have a fear of being hurt. They are not as emotionally “tough” as they might try to portray. Women are often surprised to discover this and men are not very quick to bring it to a woman’s attention.
Here are 10 things that women do that can lead to a man feeling bad about himself and, ultimately about her and about the relationship.
Here are 10 things that women do that can lead to a man feeling bad about himself and, ultimately about her and about the relationship.
- Flirt with someone else when he is around.
- Make fun of him, especially when someone else is around.
- Ignore him when he asks you a question.
- Talk frequently and at length about all of the wonderful things about another man, like a guy at work, the man next door or one of his friends.
- Turn your head when he tries to kiss you or refuse to hold his hand if he reaches out in a gentle and loving way.
- Never ask about his day, his work or his activities.
- Talk negatively about his mother or his best friend.
- “Forget“ about a date, cancel at the last minute or just stand him up.
- Poke fun, even in good humor, about some aspect of his physique.
- Roll your eyes, sneer, or in any other ways, put down or make fun of what he says or how he expresses himself.
How love fails
Failing out of love dramatically as just described is mostly played out like that in the movie studios. In real life, one of the partners in the relationship just stops calling or communicating with the other until you they can not seem to remember the boyfriend's cell phone number without checking the phone contact list. Then the girlfriend realizes that the relationship must be over because it has been ions since the two in the relationship spent time together. Without communicating and talking with each other does not give love even a smidgen of a chance of love being rekindled.
Unless the girlfriend was lock sack and barreled into the relationship and feels enormous heartache from seeing that love is failing, she can easily just say like Shania Twain, whatever, and move on. But if this was thought to be the love of the girlfriend's life and she are left by the wayside signaling for a taxi that is not coming, then she may need to do some serious thinking about how to keep her relationship from failing.
The first thing the girlfriend needs to do when love fails is to take a reality check. Did she see the end of the relationship coming and were the girlfriend just a little too uncomfortable trying to make something work that was becoming a hassle on the both? There is this thing called chemistry that sparks between two people and sometimes the sparks last and sometimes the sparks flicker, flicker again and then finally sputters out. If the girlfriend saw that love was failing in the relationship then moving on will be much easier to do.
On the other hand if the girlfriend in the relationship that is about to fail was sideswiped with a newcomer to the relationship and thinking that everything was going okay then may want to just end the relationship. How could the boyfriend have used and abused the girlfriend's love when all the time his attention was headed in another direction? The girlfriend may want to take her frustrations out at the gym and lose a few pounds over that one and with each mile, let the treadmill be the fortress and let the sweat be your emotional outlet for a failing relationship. The best thing to do when the girlfriend sees that love is failing in the relationship is to bail out and be thankful that her emotions, time and energy were not further wasted on something that just was not happening.
When love fails, do not give up on meeting that special person and moving on to another relationship. Depending on the commitment and involvement to the previous relationship, the girlfriend should give herself time to get her act back together. The girlfriend should do the the things that she had been putting off until a rainy day, like reading that latest New York Times best seller.
The girlfriend should take a deep breath and love the her unique universe again because it will always be there and just relax; content to be herself again and not necessarily alone. Love may have failed but like Whitney Houston said in one of her popular songs: The greatest love of all is to love yourself. Loving ones self by the way is a prerequisite to love and can actually prevent love failing.
Ways to date: DREAM GIRL, DREAM BOY/MAN
She's out of my league, He's out of my league
“Wow — that person could do so much better!” We’ve all heard that kind of comment before — maybe even muttered it ourselves — about a couple fit forBeauty and the Beast without the Disney treatment. But, odds are, there’s no real mystery about the pairing; the two just clicked, perhaps at a party, perhaps online. You may not have model-caliber looks, but you definitely have some winning combination of humor, kindness, success and intelligence. By learning to highlight those qualities, you can have a potential partner swooning. So before you discount the beauty before you, use these tips to place yourself squarely in the hotties’ league.
Tease your way to conversation
Top experts recommend some counterintuitive tactics for online flirtation to bolster your confidence — and intrigue your intended. April Masini, author ofThink and Date Like a Man and Date Out of Your League, suggests sending a short note with an out-there, curiosity-provoking subject line, such as “Thanks for the message.” Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, favors an irresistible challenge that shows your confidence, like: “Tell me about something funny that happened to you recently. If it makes me laugh, I’ll send you two photos. You won’t be disappointed.” Or send a link to a website that generates your, say, rock star name or Hobbit name, and sign it with yours so he or she feels compelled to share the one found when he or she clicks. All of these are effective email ideas that get a person to hit “reply” and start typing — often before he or she has even checked out your profile.
Chat with panache
Stand out from the pack online by not stating the obvious (“I liked your profile.” “I think you’re cute.” “We both like pizza!”) in your correspondence. Instead, find obscure things that truly interest you — foreign travel or a favorite book — and mention that. Consider this case history: “I knew the woman I wanted to meet was a model — she said as much in her profile,” says Alex Garth of New York City, a self-described “6” on the looks scale. “She also mentioned that she’d traveled to China, which we had in common, so I sent her an email asking her what she thought of Shanghai. Within a couple of weeks, we were dating.” Use the same principle when you’re making getting-to-know-you conversation in person with that new someone you want to impress. Focusing on something minor that he or she doesn’t usually talk about sets you apart from the rest of the dating world by demonstrating your depth.
Pave the way for a first date
Once you’ve exchanged a couple of messages, swap phone numbers for the all-important call by saying, “I get busy, so let’s continue this over the phone.” The 15-minute conversation should prove to him or her that you’re worth the effort and allow you to offer your time for a first meeting. One key to charming someone very desirable and in-demand? Don’t appear overeager. “Mention that you’re busy Wednesday and Friday, say, but can meet for one hour on Thursday,” says Strauss. Being a busy and fulfilled individual is more attractive to most singles than someone with outward looks, and this kind of approach emphasizes those — whether or not they’re 100% true.
Empower yourself in person
Whether you’re approaching a stranger at a bar or meeting up with the person you found online, continue to show confidence, even if you have to fake it at first (eventually, you’ll realize you deserve to have it and actually become suave — we promise). Masini recommends walking straight up to the man or woman you’re eyeing and introducing yourself. “Don’t be a shark and waste your night circling,” says Masini. “That invests your time in someone you don’t know,” which will only make you feel more self-conscious about not being “good enough” for the person. To psych yourself up, tell yourself that you’re the one who deserves to be convinced he or she’s worth your time, not the other way around. After all, looks are only part of the package, right? Once you’ve started talking, set yourself apart from everyone else who gushes over this person’s looks. Focus on aspects of his or her personality that other folks may overlook: “You have the best laugh!” “I love that you’re a good tipper — it says a lot about how you treat people.” Unusual compliments highlight your intuitive nature, and the person you’re talking to is more likely to perceive a genuine connection between you two than if you offer canned praise.
Look good, even if you’re not great-looking
So what if you’re not drop-dead gorgeous yourself? Strauss says he lacks obvious physical charms, but that his confidence and charisma more than compensate. “Girls would meet me and be initially disappointed, but I would still win them over,” says Strauss. “You don’t have to be good-looking — you just have to act good-looking.” Accomplish this by wearing flattering clothing (ask a straight-shooting salesperson to put you in a casual date outfit if you’re not sure what looks best on you), walking tall, smiling at strangers, holding eye contact, and otherwise acting like you own the room. So raise your standards, hone your inner charm, and go for the cutie already!
“Wow — that person could do so much better!” We’ve all heard that kind of comment before — maybe even muttered it ourselves — about a couple fit forBeauty and the Beast without the Disney treatment. But, odds are, there’s no real mystery about the pairing; the two just clicked, perhaps at a party, perhaps online. You may not have model-caliber looks, but you definitely have some winning combination of humor, kindness, success and intelligence. By learning to highlight those qualities, you can have a potential partner swooning. So before you discount the beauty before you, use these tips to place yourself squarely in the hotties’ league.
Tease your way to conversation
Top experts recommend some counterintuitive tactics for online flirtation to bolster your confidence — and intrigue your intended. April Masini, author ofThink and Date Like a Man and Date Out of Your League, suggests sending a short note with an out-there, curiosity-provoking subject line, such as “Thanks for the message.” Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, favors an irresistible challenge that shows your confidence, like: “Tell me about something funny that happened to you recently. If it makes me laugh, I’ll send you two photos. You won’t be disappointed.” Or send a link to a website that generates your, say, rock star name or Hobbit name, and sign it with yours so he or she feels compelled to share the one found when he or she clicks. All of these are effective email ideas that get a person to hit “reply” and start typing — often before he or she has even checked out your profile.
Chat with panache
Stand out from the pack online by not stating the obvious (“I liked your profile.” “I think you’re cute.” “We both like pizza!”) in your correspondence. Instead, find obscure things that truly interest you — foreign travel or a favorite book — and mention that. Consider this case history: “I knew the woman I wanted to meet was a model — she said as much in her profile,” says Alex Garth of New York City, a self-described “6” on the looks scale. “She also mentioned that she’d traveled to China, which we had in common, so I sent her an email asking her what she thought of Shanghai. Within a couple of weeks, we were dating.” Use the same principle when you’re making getting-to-know-you conversation in person with that new someone you want to impress. Focusing on something minor that he or she doesn’t usually talk about sets you apart from the rest of the dating world by demonstrating your depth.
Pave the way for a first date
Once you’ve exchanged a couple of messages, swap phone numbers for the all-important call by saying, “I get busy, so let’s continue this over the phone.” The 15-minute conversation should prove to him or her that you’re worth the effort and allow you to offer your time for a first meeting. One key to charming someone very desirable and in-demand? Don’t appear overeager. “Mention that you’re busy Wednesday and Friday, say, but can meet for one hour on Thursday,” says Strauss. Being a busy and fulfilled individual is more attractive to most singles than someone with outward looks, and this kind of approach emphasizes those — whether or not they’re 100% true.
Empower yourself in person
Whether you’re approaching a stranger at a bar or meeting up with the person you found online, continue to show confidence, even if you have to fake it at first (eventually, you’ll realize you deserve to have it and actually become suave — we promise). Masini recommends walking straight up to the man or woman you’re eyeing and introducing yourself. “Don’t be a shark and waste your night circling,” says Masini. “That invests your time in someone you don’t know,” which will only make you feel more self-conscious about not being “good enough” for the person. To psych yourself up, tell yourself that you’re the one who deserves to be convinced he or she’s worth your time, not the other way around. After all, looks are only part of the package, right? Once you’ve started talking, set yourself apart from everyone else who gushes over this person’s looks. Focus on aspects of his or her personality that other folks may overlook: “You have the best laugh!” “I love that you’re a good tipper — it says a lot about how you treat people.” Unusual compliments highlight your intuitive nature, and the person you’re talking to is more likely to perceive a genuine connection between you two than if you offer canned praise.
Look good, even if you’re not great-looking
So what if you’re not drop-dead gorgeous yourself? Strauss says he lacks obvious physical charms, but that his confidence and charisma more than compensate. “Girls would meet me and be initially disappointed, but I would still win them over,” says Strauss. “You don’t have to be good-looking — you just have to act good-looking.” Accomplish this by wearing flattering clothing (ask a straight-shooting salesperson to put you in a casual date outfit if you’re not sure what looks best on you), walking tall, smiling at strangers, holding eye contact, and otherwise acting like you own the room. So raise your standards, hone your inner charm, and go for the cutie already!
10 ways to lose a guy
Follow these ten ways on how end a relationship and to be free of the boyfriend and the relationship.
1. Continually talk to the boyfriend about the same things over and over again. The common term is nagging but for unmarried couples that would not apply. If you are in a relationship and is trying to end the relationship; be a badger and say the same things over and over again until you annoy the crap out of him. It could be as simple as telling him that you prefer getting to a location your way. Each time you head out, start the same conversation about how your directions are fine and then start to instruct him on your way of getting to his destination. If he disagrees as always, then that is the beginning of a way to end the relationship. He will not welcome you riding with him if he knows that you are going to disagree at every opportunity on directions. You know how men are about directions so this argument should be an easy one to do to lose your man and end the relationship.
2. Stop trying to look your best all of the time is another way to end a relationship. In fact, let the boyfriend see the morning you without your makeup and foundation on. Add a few rollers and see if that will get him running. If he truly loves you, of course, looks will not matter. This advice is for the new guy that you just met and you are trying to lose and in a hurry. As the popular song goes, in the morning, just throw anything on and go. If he told you (and some guys will) that he wants you to look like a fashion model when you go out on a date; digress. You are guaranteed to lose this guy if he wants to walk into the club with a trophy beauty and instead have the fellows look away like what hole did he pull her from? This one is a gem for losing your man and by the way drop the deodorant.3. When your boyfriend and you are out of a date turn the tables and have him see you stare at the more attractive men in the restaurant. The technique of not giving him all of your attention will surely end the relationship. In fact mention, like girls do to other girls and say loudly something like: "Don't you like the authentic Rolex watch that the guy in the corner booth is wearing?" Yes, ladies, you can see a Rolex watch from that distance. Degrade your man every chance you get about what he does for a living and let him know that you could care less about bricklaying. You can lose a guy in a minute if you make it known that you do not like what he does especially if he thinks that its a great job. End the relationship by belittling him every chance you get.
4. Flirt with other guys when you go out on a date with your boyfriend to end the relationship. Now for this venture, girls you want to look like a fashion model complete with the accessories and deodorant. Wear your most sexiest backless little black dress and act like you are interested in him until you reach the destination of your date. He will be taken by surprise when all of a sudden you begin to flirt with the waiter, then with the guy who came in alone and set at the table next to the two of you. Just flirt with everyone except him. You know what to do. Make sure that your attention is elsewhere instead of with the guy you are trying to lose. He will get the message and you are not going to hear from him again. You would have succeeded in ending the relationship and losing the guy. That was the plan, right?
5. Tell your boyfriend that you are not attracted to him in any way, form or fashion to end the relationship. Be careful how you phrase that because most guys think that you mean that you are in fact attracted to him. So when you tell him that ou are no longer attracted to him, you must say it around other people to totally embarrass him. You may have to drive home so have your car parked nearby. No need to play around with the guy if you are not attracted to him and want to lose him. Just tell him that you are not attracted to him and make sure you tell him with public embarrassment thrown in for free.
7. Stop fixing him his favorite meal when he comes to visit if it is your turn to cook. In fact, find out what is his least favorite meal and prepare that particular meal. He will get the idea that you are not trying that hard to please his palate. Sooner or later, he will get the message and start having dinner at his Mom's or that new girlfriend you were trying to dump load him off to. After all, you are trying to lose the guy, right?
8. Be financially irresponsible with the household finances. If he is a stickler for accounting for everything that you shop for, overdue it with a shopping spree of nonsense items that have no functional purpose or value. Oh, and make sure that you do not buy anything for him. Let him know that you could care less about his fiscally responsible new plan to increase the credit score. This method of irresponsibility in accounting for purchases will surely help you to lose the guy.
9. Make him wake hours for you to emerge for a date and then make sure that you looked the same way when you opened the door to let him in. He will know for sure that you are not anxious to see him. He may be off the couch after an hour of waiting for you to dress for the date and may invite himself to the outgoing door himself. He will get the message if you do this a few times, after that the door will stop revolving. This is one way of losing the guy, just make him wait and wait for you when going out on a date while you talk to your girlfriends on the telephone while he watches you talk and continues to wait.
10.When he comes over to pick you up for a date, have another fellow there and do not choose to go out with him. Imagine the degradation of being stood up and then actually seeing the new boyfriend (girls make sure that the other guy is a cutie) as he rings the door bell and you walk out with your new beau. He should get the message that you are not interested in him with that bit of drama. When he calls to ask you why you would do a thing like that; just hang up the phone.
These are the top ten mean and inconsiderate ways to lose a guy. More often than not, just like the dust mop commercial that the lady keeps trying to hang up on with her new Swivel mop, he'll just keep popping up.
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