At times, all the effort and wishes in the world can’t save a relationship. And at some other times, we find ourselves stuck in a relationship where we’re not happy at all. So what should you do, break up and move on, or hold on in the hope of better days?
You’ve tried everything from counseling to talking about it with friends and family. You may have given it your all. But sometimes, it’s hard to hold a relationship that’s torn at the seams already. You may pull and you may tug, but it would only tear your worlds further apart. It may be hard to accept it, but it may, indeed, be the time to break up.
The idea of breaking up may drive you insane. You may have been together for years and the thought of living apart could devastate you, but when things happen the way you don’t intend it to happen, you have to understand that it’s not the end of your life, it’s just the end of a relationship. If you have to get the courage to walk out, you need to learn from everything around you.
You will need to understand that the end of one phase of your life, inevitably, means the beginning of another. The strength to move on comes from within you, not from your friends or your family. It’s the decision you take that will help you walk out or stay behind. It takes strength to face reality, to accept something that you don’t want to accept, to end something that you wished would last forever. It takes greater strength and tenacity to end something than to start it. And nothing can feel worse than to cling to a relationship that doesn’t exist anymore.
Learning lessons
As hard as the pain may be, look around you for lessons that you can learn. Look at the potted plants, with its roots completely filling the pot. They cling so tight to the pot, and they don’t realize that there is a larger world out there, a world where they can spread out and grow better. Even when we break the pot, the roots take the shape of the pot, and it takes many months for the roots to spread out. Are you like that? You know you can break free, and yet you stay in a miserable rut, without setting foot into the world without your mate, too afraid to move on?
Remember your favorite sweater, the one that you always used to wear and you used to feel so comfortable in. You used to wear that at home, outside when the weather was chilly, and when you played with your friends. Over time, the sweater got old and began to fade. You mum told you to stop wearing it, but you loved it too much to stop wearing it. Eventually the seams gave way and the frayed sweater tore away. You were sad, and you cried because you really really loved your favorite sweater. But the hurt didn’t last too long, because your sweet mum brought you a beautiful overcoat that was much better than your favorite sweater.
Now don’t you wish relationships could be that easy and simple, just as easy as buying a new sweater or an overcoat? It can be, if you just make up your mind and believe the fact that life can be a lot better once you walk out of a love that doesn’t exist anymore. There are a lot of lessons that you can learn around you, and they can only inspire you and give you the strength.
