Love has to be discerning

Love without discernment is not really love; it actually causes more harm than good. Parents who show love to their children by overindulging them and refusing to discipline them are really hurting them in the long run. The guy who asks his girlfriend to prove her love by having sex is not loving her; he's using her. A person who lies in order to keep a friendship is not acting as a true friend. 

What a tradegy to hurt those you love simply because you lack the wisdom to treat them as you should. Love has to be discerning, for love always seeks the best of others. If you ask him, God will help you know how to love others. He will tell you when to be gentle with someone and when to be firm. The holy spirit will help you know when to get involved in someone's problems and when to leave them to God.He will show you to give without asking for something in return.

For your part, you should seek to be blameless in all your relationships. This means you will guard your thoughts, you words, and your actions to make sure you have the other person's best interests at heart. When you love others this way, you will be loving as Christ loves. Examine your present relationships. Have you been treating people with the kind of love that comes from God? 

Philhppians 1: 9-10