Choosing a good partner in life, is a very challenging thing to do, because any careless mistake might lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. In this article, I decided to limit my lesson on how to choose a good partner, by focusing only on selecting a good husband, so as to ensure proper treatment of the topic. May be, in my next article, I will treat that of selecting good wife.
When you were young, you were only concerned with temporary satisfactions when it comes to love and relationship. And may be, you did develop one or two crush on a guy, based on the fact that he is handsome, intelligent, popular, funny, rich or bold. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with these traits, but these appeals are most common to youths and teens, who are still exhibiting youthful exuberance, causing them to develop a crush on someone based on superficial qualities of the person.
But as one matures, however, we start to develop better human perspective powers to examine deep issues and qualities like; moral uprightness and others. By this time, you start to realize that the most popular guy you know is not trustworthy, or that the richest guy in your town or street may not be morally upright.
And when you now look back into your past life, you might have come across so many different guys who did really met your youthful appeal, but yet, you don’t think they are right for you when it comes to marriage. This is because, when we were young, our minds centers only on satisfying our sexual and financial desires first, before considering other things and this why our youthful appeals and crush are based on superficial desires. But as we mature, our orientation changes.
Remember, marriage is all about a decision, and a lifetime one indeed. Therefore, we should not put in mind the bastardization of marriage by Westernization and urbanization by the law and some so-called human right policies. Before making a decision to marry any man, think first and please think wisely. First, consider these things:
1. Can he be my lifetime mate?
2. Will he be able to bring out the best in me and vice versa?
3. Does he want me just for a fling or physical satisfaction of his sexual needs?
4. Is he ready to forgive and forget always?
5. Does he like bullying or beating me whenever things go wrong?
6. Is he wise in his spending and earning
After answering these questions,, go further and examine yourself, to know if you are truly ready and clean to marry him, don’t say yes yet. Follow me?
Remember that marriage is a holy union, so do not take into it, anything that is unclean or indecent. What do I mean by unclean? Read on. Before saying, “yes I do”, make sure that:
1. You do not have any other person you promised marriage.
2. You do not have any sexual imperfection, disease, illness or hatred. If you do, please inform him earlier so you people can jointly agree before getting married.
3. You do not have any sexual pervasion or secrets like habitual masturbation, incest practices, lesbianism and many others. Also, inform him, so you two can agree or disagree.
4. You have a legal backing to marry, if you are divorced, separated or for once married.
5. You are spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally prepared to be a good wife yourself.
After carrying out the above personal examinations, think beyond imaginable. What do I mean by this? Now, how compatible are you two? Don’t always be fooled by such statements like this; “we always agree on almost everything” “we love each other’ “we enjoy same things like music, food, sports etc” you should rather examine more critically what happens when you people disagree on issues, how fast does he forgive and forget? How does he handle conflicts? Is it by insisting on what he says or perhaps giving in, in anger or by pouring out abusive speeches? Or does he show reasonableness and a willingness to submit for the sake of peace when no issue of right or wrong is at stake?
Lastly, you must consider if he is too jealous, manipulative, possessive or easy going. Asking or making wise and deep inquiries from those that knew him for long might help you out. Therefore, inquire from his colleagues, business partners (if necessary), friends, siblings, parents, neighbors or religious brothers. This might help you to know him more and better. Don’t just say, “yes I do”, be careful with your choices of life partner.
In conclusion, do this last examination of him, to know if he would make a good husband now and in the future.
- Is he industrious? Answer: yes or No.
- What is his relationship with his parents? Answer: Very good or not too good.
- What type of entertainment does he enjoy most? Answer: Rough ones or Cool ones.
- How close is he to his religion and God? Answer: Very close or I doubt that.
- Is he considerate of others? Answer: Yes or No?
- Is he physically abusive to you? Answer: Yes or No?
- Is he addicted to alcohol or tobacco? Answer: Yes or No?
- Who are his friends? Answer: They are nice and responsible or I can’t really tell?
- What goal does he have in life? Answer: I can’t just tell or Very nice one?
- Is he financially responsible? Answer: Yes or No?
If you have answered those questions correctly without being biased may be because you are so much in love with him. And you are very sure he passed up to a 70%, I would advice you to give him a try for a marriage, but if he didn’t, I doubt he would make a good husband for you may be in the future. Unless you are ready for a divorce, which is not in any way advisable.
Good luck, please I would like to read your comments to enable me know the impact of this article to your life, and to encourage me to do more researches and findings. Thank you.
