If you've ever felt like you've been hit by a brick by what a man has said or done or not said or not done, and found yourself on the other end of the phone, or standing right in front of him not knowing what to say, I can help.TAKING CARE OF YOU -- INSIDE AND OUT
Some of our work together is about what's going on in your insides and some is about what's going on, on your outside.
On the inside, we want to deal with how to handle and take care of your emotions. And on the outside we want to deal with the words you use to express those emotions.
On the inside we want to ramp up your self- esteem and your love for yourself, and on the outside we want to express that love in the clothes you wear, what you do out in the world, and how you react to what a man does and says.
A huge part of making this all work for you is what I call "Scripting."
This means -- literally -- what do I say to him?
And since there are so many unique situations, and even more unique moments with a man -- you'd think it would be hard, even impossible, to script words for you to say for all of these moments.
And that's not true.
THE RIGHT WORDS THAT WORK FOR ANY SITUATION
The truth is, the same situations that are unique to you keep showing UP for you all the time!
The man you're with, or the man you want -- even if you've just met him -- will behave in a pretty consistent pattern.
After even a few moments, you can "get" what his pattern is. And if you're really paying great Rori-Raye-style attention to yourself -- your feelings, your thoughts, your actions -- then you can get a quick read on how this man is "triggering" you!
And that's when you can turn everything around.
SAY THE WORDS HE CAN REALLY HEAR
You can turn it around by saying and doing something DIFFERENT than you would normally, automatically do.
And this is where Scripting helps you terrifically.
And that's why I created my program "Love Scripts."
Love Scripts is full of live demonstrations from beginning to end. Nonstop. There are real women on stage with me creating real scripts in real time around their real, unique situations -- and there are so many of them that you will identify with.
Not only will you be able to use the exact words we're using in this program -- almost like a manual for you to follow -- in Love Scripts I show you step-by-step (and the women participating in the program will demonstrate it for you in real time) how to create your OWN script.
For any situation you're in.
WORDS THAT EXPRESS EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL
So when you find yourself with your mouth hanging open, absolutely speechless, because a man has just shocked you with something he said or did or neglected to do, you will know exactly what to say.
And it won't be a strategy. It won't be a game. It won't be an attempt to be clever, or funny, or banter or give a snappy comeback.
Love Scripts will teach you how to drill down to your actual, real, authentic feelings and express those feelings.
Express them in words that will get you CLOSER to this man instantly. Here's a Tool around this right now:
WHAT TO SAY WHEN HE DOESN'T FOLLOW THROUGH
Let's say a man met you, got your number, called you, took you out for tea, called you again, made a date, took you out on that date, you had a great time, then he called you again, left a message and said he would call later.
And then he didn't.
This seems like such a small thing. But it's not.
It's the first instance where he doesn't follow through. And what happens is this:
A man gets into this habit of not following through, and then we start to feel resentful. We try to be understanding, we want to understand that he's not perfect, we want to come up with an excuse why he didn't follow through.
But still we're stuck with -- what do we say to him?
And even more important: what to say to him to let him know that following through is important to us, that contact is important to us, and that you really want him to call when he says he will and, actually, you want him to call often?
And do all this without sounding clingy, needy or dramatic?
I would suggest you try this:
1. Stop whatever you're thinking.
2. Stop whatever you're doing
3. Take a breath and get quickly into the Rori Raye Dance Position.
This means: Open your palms out to the world, lean your body back, unzip your heart, let your heart out to breathe, let your shoulders drop, check in with your body to find out where you're holding tension, and focus in deeply on how your body and your heart are feeling.
4. Now, ask yourself for a feeling or sensation -- any feeling, any sensation that feels true to you in the moment. Try mad, sad, glad, or afraid for starters.
Keep it simple.
5. Speak Your Truth
Say it this way: "I feel (mad, sad, glad, afraid)."
That's all you have to tell him, which is usually the hardest thing since we women work so HARD to hide what we're really feeling. But telling him what you're feeling in plain language like this is exactly what he can really hear.
6. Now, Stand There.
That's it. Just stand there. Breathe.
Shake if you're feeling shaky. Stay really, really checked-in with your body.
This means check in with how you feel after you've said these words out loud -- right in the presence of the man. Or over the phone.
My tool of Circular Dating will help you with this -- because you will get to practice doing this with men who aren't important in your life, and so it feels less risky and scary. You can learn more about Circular Dating in my Targeting Mr. Right program here:
7. Now what about his part?
How can you possibly know what he will say?
Well, actually... you KNOW what he's going to say!
He's either going to go "negative":
Put you down, and make you feel small and silly. Or...
Clam up and get mad. Or...
Clam up and withdraw.
Or go "positive." And, you may be surprised, but this is WAY MORE LIKELY to happen. This is all new, remember! He will likely be very surprised, caught off guard, and feel RELIEVED!
He's likely to ask you a question. He's likely to say "What's wrong?" Or "Why?"
And he's likely to do this with curiosity and concern if he cares about you!
So you get to make a couple of choices in advance. You get to prepare.
You get to prepare for a negative, defensive response, and you get to prepare for the "Why?" questions.
If your man automatically gets defensive when things aren't going exactly the way he wants them to go, then you know he's going to get defensive.
He's going to put his arms in front of his body, and he's going to look down his nose at you, and he's going to try to distance you.
On the other hand, if he lets his arms go down by the side of his body, leans in toward you and seems fairly shocked -- you may have opened up a whole new pathway to love in this relationship!
